Have you tried manifesting but it just doesn't work? When you try to say affirmations you truly don't believe are true, it can feel like you're lying to yourself. Your body knows. And that gap between what you're saying and what you actually feel creates resistance, not the change you are seeking. Here's the thing, manifestation isn't about forcing yourself to believe something you don't. It's about how your brain is actually wired. Your brain has a built-in filter so it's constantly scanning for evidence of what's true. Whatever you focus on, it goes looking for proof to back it up. When you ask a question instead, you activate that search system. Your brain can't just sit with an open question and do nothing with it. It needs to close the loop. That's the part most people miss. Your mind doesn't like unresolved things. An open question is an open loop, and your brain will work quietly in the background until it finds an answer. That's exactly why questions feel safer than affirmations. Affirmations can create pressure. You're asserting something your body doesn't fully believe yet, and that gap creates resistance. Questions don't do that. They create curiosity instead of tension. So instead of telling yourself 100 times a day "I am rich," try "why is money starting to flow to me more easily?" Your neural system registers safety in that shift. Your brain starts hunting for confirmation. And that's how new patterns actually start to build, not through force, through repetition of the right question. Here are a few questions to play with but feel free to personalize them for you: Why am I already feeling calmer than I used to be? Why is money starting to flow to me more easily? Why am I attracting more love and support than before? A few things I invite you to try this week: 1. Pick one affirmation you've been forcing and turn it into a question. Ask it out loud, even if it feels strange at first. 2. Notice when your brain starts answering. A small moment of ease, a memory, a person showing up. That's the evidence surfacing. Write it down. 3. Ask your question first thing in the morning, before your day fills up with all your to-do’s. Let it be the loop your brain works on all day. 4.

Most of us are, and we don't even realize it. I didn't either, well not until I really started paying attention to my neural system, my patterns, the tension I was carrying around without even noticing it. It had just become normal to me. I didn't know there was another way to feel. I work with this daily, honestly. For years I was living in fight-or-flight without knowing that's what it was. I thought I was just a "tense person." Or that I worked better “under stress” and “deadlines” made me deliver better results. Turns out my body had been on guard for a very long time and nobody ever told me that was something I could actually change. Holding your breath is usually a safety response. Your body doing what it thinks it needs to do to keep you protected. I still catch myself doing it; tensing my stomach like I'm about to take a hit to the gut (don't worry, the only time that actually happens is in martial arts and I'm totally fine 🙂). It's almost funny once you notice it. Your body preparing for an impact that isn't coming. When your neural system doesn't feel fully safe, the whole body stays a little tight, a little on alert. Jaw clenched. Shoulders creeping up toward your ears. Belly pulled in tight. Breath shallow or straight up held. You've probably felt this and just didn't have a name for it. Here are a few gentle things that have helped me shift this, without forcing anything: - Exhale first. Don't chase a bigger inhale because that usually makes it worse. Just let the breath leave you fully, all the way out and let the next inhale arrive on its own. You don't have to reach for it. - Soften your tummy. A relaxed tummy is one of the fastest signals you can send your neural system that you're safe right now. Try placing a hand there. Just put your attention there and try to feel your body. - Name it. This one sounds too simple to work, but it does. Quietly noticing "I'm holding my breath". That's already regulation. You don't have to fix it immediately. Naming it is the first shift.

Okay, I have to be honest with you about something. For the longest time, I didn't feel like I was ever the chosen one. And it was SO easy to make up reasons why. It's not me, it's them. They don't deserve me. They just got out of a long relationship. Now isn't the right time. Honestly, the list never ended. I'm guessing some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. But one day I just had it. I was so tired of pouring my time and energy into people who weren't pouring it back into me. And then came the harder part. The part I didn't want to admit. It wasn't that they weren't choosing me. I wasn't choosing me. I wasn't showing up for myself. I was letting myself down, over and over. They were just reflecting that back to me the whole time. So I started small. I started showing up for me. Choosing me. Doing things because they were good for me, not because they'd make someone else happy. And that's really when everything shifted. I'll be real with you though, it's not a one-and-done thing. It's ongoing. I still forget sometimes and slip back into old patterns. That's okay. The difference now is I catch myself faster and I come back to myself quicker every single time. A few things that have actually helped me choose myself, in case they're useful to you too: - Doing the thing before I feel ready. The workout, the posting on social media, the job application. I stopped waiting for motivation to show up first. - Checking in with myself first. Just once a day, even for five minutes, asking what do I actually need right now, before I answer that question for everyone else. - Keeping my word to me. The small promises. If I told myself I'd take that walk, I took it. That's where the trust started rebuilding. The trust for myself. So I'll ask you the same thing I had to ask myself... do you choose you? I'd love to hear where you're at with this, drop it in the comments. Much love, Neda