When you walk into a team, a unit, a department — the people in that room make a decision about you in the first 3 seconds. This is what I learned leading in prisons. It may not be as harsh in every workplace, but sometimes the line between who wears blue and who wears green is very fine. They’re not evaluating your résumé.They’re not evaluating your smile.They’re not evaluating your intentions. They’re evaluating your nervous system. Do you leak anxiety? Do you rush to please? Do you over-explain? Do you soften your boundary before anyone has even challenged it? Weak leaders try to earn respect with charm.Strong leaders earn respect with predictability. The room doesn’t care if you’re kind. It cares if you will bend when someone pushes you. If your standards change depending on who asks, you don’t lead — you negotiate for peace. Leadership is not won in big speeches. It’s won in how still you stay when someone tries you. People don’t follow the loudest person.They follow the person they can’t move.

That is where I cut my leadership teeth. On my very first day, a male guard took his mouthguard out just to tell me he didn’t like me. As a natural people-pleaser, every instinct in me screamed please be polite! — but I held my calm. My response? “How lovely to meet someone so honest. I’m looking forward to hearing about your experience here.” (Inside my head: because no one else here is walking around with a mouthguard, you must’ve copped a few hits…) 😏 That moment taught me a lot: leadership isn’t about proving you’re the loudest or toughest. It’s about staying composed, confident, and keeping your sense of humour intact — even when chaos is thrown at you from all directions. Composure always wins. Even against mouthguards. 💪

I have decided to jump right in and start sharing the resources I have developed that would have helped me when I started. I struggled with assertiveness, confidence, imposter syndrome. I always thought ‘I don’t belong here’ and there were no shortage of people who would be happy to reinforce these beliefs for me. So right now I am in bed rest following a procedure, but going nuts with all this down time. So as I recover, my Skool page is going to explode! Watch this space 😁

I’m interested in hearing about your pain points in beginning your leadership journey, and what better way than a poll, because I bet I can guess!

I am passionate about leadership. I have my own set of wonderful and horrific experiences, and can’t wait to share them with you. But first! Tell me about yourself, and (with discretion) your most uncomfortable leadership moment. I’m here for the good, the bad and the very unattractive.