21d • General discussion
Cognitive Dissonance
New article in "Lessons Along the Way."
Cognitive dissonance is a common term in education, though its message permeates the world we live in each and every day. A term coined by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1957, cognitive dissonance is the state of holding two (or more) conflicting beliefs, values, or ideas in our minds at the same time. Our brains really don’t like or appreciate the discomfort that opposing beliefs bring, so they try to rectify the discomfort through rationalization, justification, or changing said beliefs. We are human, after all.
Cognitive dissonance isn’t just a psychological term- it’s a daily invitation to grow and learn in real time.
I’m sure we can all remember a moment from childhood or otherwise where cognitive dissonance peeked its awkward, uncomfortable head out. Perhaps it was realizing that Santa’s wrapping paper was the same as the kind mom used, or learning that Pluto was a planet, then wasn’t, then was again (I’m still not sure about this one). Later in life, it could be realizing that your parents were simply grown-ups who made a lot of mistakes that maybe you wouldn’t have made. Or trying to hold onto the faith you were raised in, while the wider world introduces new ideas that gently question what you once understood as truth.
In any case, it takes willingness and bravery to admit that something you once believed to be true may not be, and to remain open to something new. My grandma and I were chatting the other day about the state of the world (yikes), and she made a comment about how it’s harder for older people to change their minds. She talked about how, once someone retires, they lose regular exposure to diverse perspectives and to people they may not have naturally chosen to include in their circle. Over time, perspectives can narrow. In many workplaces, even casual interactions require a level of openness—or at least polite neutrality—that keeps us exposed to different viewpoints.
Retirees also tend to surround themselves with people close in age who have likely had similar life experiences. Then, they have a lot of extra time on their hands, and the news is on 24/7. All that to say…our “cognitive dissonance” muscle can weaken over time, which can make conflicting beliefs feel more threatening. The capacity to grow never truly goes away; it just requires a bit more intention.
Our brains are extremely malleable and flexible when we’re younger. We are used to constant “newness” and conflicting information- it’s quite literally all around us. So when we experience cognitive dissonance, it doesn’t feel as personal. It’s just a systems upgrade of sorts. One example comes from my Jojo and her previous bacon obsession. When I say she loved bacon…it was almost the only thing she would eat. For years.
Then, she learned that bacon came from pigs. She loves animals, and she really struggled to eat them once she knew. So, she decided to stop eating bacon because her love for animals was stronger than her love for bacon. She didn’t beat herself up for loving bacon for years–she just learned something new, sat with it for a minute, then made a new choice. She’s been a pescatarian for a few years now and still loves it.
It’s also important to remember that while we experience cognitive dissonance often, as mamas and teachers, we will probably be the cause of cognitive dissonance for our children and students. I taught first grade in a very LDS area of Utah. Many of my students were Mormon, and I, their teacher, was…not. Mormons don’t believe in drinking coffee, and they teach this to their children from a very young age. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I was a highly requested teacher and kiddos loved being in my class. We had a great time together and learned a lot. So, imagine the dismay of some of my sweethearts when they realized that Ms. John wasn’t drinking hot chocolate every day but instead…coffee. One student even raised his hand and told me that coffee was bad for me. I knew he was simply repeating what he had been taught, and it was nothing personal- but how I responded in that moment could make or break the rest of the year and my relationship with those students.
I could see it on their faces…Ms. John is kind and loves me and teaches me really cool stuff…but my mom and dad told me that coffee is bad…Ms. John is drinking coffee. How can both things be true?
So I smiled at this student and said, “Some people don’t like coffee and don’t drink it, and that’s totally okay. There are also a lot of people in the world who really enjoy coffee, and it makes them happy. My coffee is warm, and it gives me energy, and that helps me teach, so I am grateful for my coffee.”
Then, I went on with our lesson and let them sit with it. I was still the teacher I was before they knew my beverage of choice, and ultimately, they got to decide the rest.
So, if cognitive dissonance is unavoidable and uncomfortable, how do we meet her with open arms and an open mind? Many ways, I think.
Approach everything with curiosity and the understanding that so much is possible—and we know less than we sometimes think. There is something to be learned, even if we’ve already learned it. Rereading your favorite book highlights different perspectives depending on your current season of life. Taking the same route to work every day still brings different weather, different traffic, and different songs on the radio. Our brains can continue to be stretchy and elastic if we just let them absorb new information, even if it directly contradicts the old.
And, maybe that’s part of the beauty of being human. The point of life isn’t simply arriving at certainty. The point is experiencing the learning, the messiness, and the growth along the way—even the coffee-spilled lessons.
So, how will you meet your cognitive dissonance today?
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Cognitive Dissonance
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