16 hours in 🙌

Yesterday’s I reached 700 Consecutive Days Clean from All Hard Drugs Tonight I reached 23 Consecutive Months Clean from All Hard Drugs #wedorecover I remember Those nights of addiction and homelessness are etched in my memory - the cold, the hunger, the thirst, and the overwhelming sense of loneliness. With little money and no one to turn to, I was consumed by anxiety and desperation, seeking escape through substance abuse, but ultimately forced to face the harsh reality of my situation. It’s a constant reminder of everything I could lose in a second I lost so so much to my addiction and day by day not only am I still clean but I’m healing the scars that lead to my use in the first place, I slowly began to rebuild my life, even securing a cozy apartment near the hospital in February 2023. Still, I couldn't shake off my demons, and my addiction led me down a path of bingeing with fake friends on the 17th of Dec exactly a month and 2 days after my last serious overdose where I had to be saved by two doses of NARCAN I took my last drug and decided to try get clean before i ended up dying in my addiction at first I got through withdrawal one day at a time When I overdosed and decided to seek help, I lost the people I thought were my friends. However, I realized they were only using me for their own purposes. In the end, I gained something much more valuable – my sobriety and a chance to start anew. at first I doubted how I could function properly knowing I couldn’t pick up anymore I started journaling more as I made it thru my firsts in soberity and made the move from my one-bedroom apartment to a smaller townhouse down the road on May 31st, 2024. This transition occurred during a difficult time, as I had lost a close cousin just a week or so prior. To deal with my emotions, I began creating small routines that didn't involve substance use and focused on distracting myself from urges. I also started going for more walks to the park and bike rides as a coping mechanism. Eight months into my recovery, I was still facing a tough battle against cravings and PAWS withdrawals. Despite the challenges, I was still determined to stay on track and make progress, no matter how slow. I didn’t start posting much about my soberity til I made it to a year clean I’ll learned a lot about myself since getting clean and sober at a year of recovery I started to have a few self improvement realizations surrounding my drug craving getting to be lessened I could think clearer make clearer choices and manage to control my emotions better and in my selfharm recovery The scars on my arms are now white and less noticeable, which is an odd but welcome sign of healing it continues to fade in August of 2025 at around 19 months clean I started attending NA meetings and got introduced to the Narcotics Anonymous book and got a sponsor in Sept maintaining recovery is more then staying away from just the drugs it’s about learning new ways of living so your past doesn’t drag you back down to hell attending meetings and talking to other addicts in recovery helped a lot to keep the urges down I started to feel more comfortable living in my own skin not having drugs in my system to function I met people who really understood and wanted to see me change for the better I’ve been attending NA for a conservative 4 months now next month I’ll get my 2 years chip were not bad people getting well but hurt people finding healing Don’t judge an addict instead ask where’s the pain your trying to escape maybe you’ll see why addicts will do anything to escape their own reality. You don't just "treat addiction." You end up treating anxiety, depression, BPD, CPTSD, loneliness, rage, despair, toxic secrets, regret, undiagnosed head trauma, untreated ADHD.Then you realize addiction is often someone's best attempt to cope when they don't see other options we all hurt but we don’t have to deal with it through digging a hole into our addiction if only we remember to ask for help we can get better one day at a time The battle to resist the urges of addiction relapse can be very intense, and it often feels like torture. Especially with unknown or unexpected triggers but Recovery isn't a single achievement; it's a daily choice to fight addiction and keep my demons at bay. Maintaining my sobriety and recovery is a constant reminder that if I slip I could lose not only l material items but my health and in the end I could lose my life but it's a battle I must face every day even when it’s hard and giving up feels easier to do this fight is keeping me alive and well for those around me and I will continue to fight everyday to keep my sobriety, I'm trying my best hour by hour and day by day to stay for myself and those who love me I Recover Out Loud Because I Almost Died In Silence and I Won’t Let The Drugs Take Me Away We Do Recover We Do Get Clean We Do Get Yesterday’s I reached 700 Consecutive Days Clean from All Hard Drugs Tonight I reached 23 Consecutive Months Clean from All Hard Drugs #wedorecover I remember Those nights of addiction and homelessness are etched in my memory - the cold, the hunger, the thirst, and the overwhelming sense of loneliness. With little money and no one to turn to, I was consumed by anxiety and desperation, seeking escape through substance abuse, but ultimately forced to face the harsh reality of my situation. It’s a constant reminder of everything I could lose in a second I lost so so much to my addiction and day by day not only am I still clean but I’m healing the scars that lead to my use in the first place, I slowly began to rebuild my life, even securing a cozy apartment near the hospital in February 2023. Still, I couldn't shake off my demons, and my addiction led me down a path of bingeing with fake friends on the 17th of Dec exactly a month and 2 days after my last serious overdose where I had to be saved by two doses of NARCAN I took my last drug and decided to try get clean before i ended up dying in my addiction at first I got through withdrawal one day at a time When I overdosed and decided to seek help, I lost the people I thought were my friends. However, I realized they were only using me for their own purposes. In the end, I gained something much more valuable – my sobriety and a chance to start anew. at first I doubted how I could function properly knowing I couldn’t pick up anymore I started journaling more as I made it thru my firsts in soberity and made the move from my one-bedroom apartment to a smaller townhouse down the road on May 31st, 2024. This transition occurred during a difficult time, as I had lost a close cousin just a week or so prior. To deal with my emotions, I began creating small routines that didn't involve substance use and focused on distracting myself from urges. I also started going for more walks to the park and bike rides as a coping mechanism. Eight months into my recovery, I was still facing a tough battle against cravings and PAWS withdrawals. Despite the challenges, I was still determined to stay on track and make progress, no matter how slow. I didn’t start posting much about my soberity til I made it to a year clean I’ll learned a lot about myself since getting clean and sober at a year of recovery I started to have a few self improvement realizations surrounding my drug craving getting to be lessened I could think clearer make clearer choices and manage to control my emotions better and in my selfharm recovery The scars on my arms are now white and less noticeable, which is an odd but welcome sign of healing it continues to fade in August of 2025 at around 19 months clean I started attending NA meetings and got introduced to the Narcotics Anonymous book and got a sponsor in Sept maintaining recovery is more then staying away from just the drugs it’s about learning new ways of living so your past doesn’t drag you back down to hell attending meetings and talking to other addicts in recovery helped a lot to keep the urges down I started to feel more comfortable living in my own skin not having drugs in my system to function I met people who really understood and wanted to see me change for the better I’ve been attending NA for a conservative 4 months now next month I’ll get my 2 years chip were not bad people getting well but hurt people finding healing Don’t judge an addict instead ask where’s the pain your trying to escape maybe you’ll see why addicts will do anything to escape their own reality. You don't just "treat addiction." You end up treating anxiety, depression, BPD, CPTSD, loneliness, rage, despair, toxic secrets, regret, undiagnosed head trauma, untreated ADHD.Then you realize addiction is often someone's best attempt to cope when they don't see other options we all hurt but we don’t have to deal with it through digging a hole into our addiction if only we remember to ask for help we can get better one day at a time The battle to resist the urges of addiction relapse can be very intense, and it often feels like torture. Especially with unknown or unexpected triggers but Recovery isn't a single achievement; it's a daily choice to fight addiction and keep my demons at bay. Maintaining my sobriety and recovery is a constant reminder that if I slip I could lose not only l material items but my health and in the end I could lose my life but it's a battle I must face every day even when it’s hard and giving up feels easier to do this fight is keeping me alive and well for those around me and I will continue to fight everyday to keep my sobriety, I'm trying my best hour by hour and day by day to stay for myself and those who love me I Recover Out Loud Because I Almost Died In Silence and I Won’t Let The Drugs Take Me Away We Do Recover We Do Get Clean We Do Get Sober There Is A Life After Addiction One Day At A Time Everyday For One More Day 23 Months Clean redited version There Is A Life After Addiction One Day At A Time Everyday For One More Day 23 Months Clean redited version

Looking back, it's hard to believe it's been 12 months since I celebrated 7 months of sobriety. Today, at 9 pm, I'll have reached 19 months without alcohol. The journey has been long and challenging, but I'm determined to see it through. I deserve to know what it's like to live life on my own terms, to not give up on myself.

Facing the most unbearable instances of grief I have discovered I do not need “help” to deal with raw emotions of love. That “help” would only distort or destroy what is left and is still beautiful to remember. I have lost and not used, I have even been in MY stomping grounds of hometown and stood tall and restrained myself. A couple years later and I am losing a beautiful woman to her disappearing memories. Heart wrenching and gut twisting. I know it deep in my soul that I do not need what I once thought was “help”. I DO NEED TO KEEP GOING: keep up with self care, recovery activities, maintain healthy relationships and go to therapy/meetings/coffee hour and church. KEEP GOING WITH REAL HELP! Proven help. Not the deceitful “help” that buried me in the first place.

I have met a lot of failing resources, even several crisis lines…. I have given up and tried again so many times it is ridiculous, even just this year 7months and one week. You’d think I was just exaggerating if I said how many times since 2021 when NYS took away my stability through what was once consistent MH treatment and healthcare in general. This state is going to kill me through systematic neglect. Regardless I meet those failures that were all promised to work given you do x y x or even the ones that you just show up/call. It took a long time but I no longer care that the world and everyone in fails me. I’m still here bitches. You will hear me one day.