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5d • The Safe Space 🛟🏝️🏡
Biggest❓/LearningEver!WhatsTheBestWays2HelpAnUnbeliever(But KnowHesChosen)WhoDoestWant2BeHere&HelpedPartlyCauseTheyBelieveTheyreNotMeant2Live,FullyOrAlmostFully&FeelLikeABurdenIfTheyOpenUp?IFeelVeryCalled2LeadThem2God!
Honestly This Is Most Ive Ever Written In 1 Night! Literally Wrote 90% Of This In 3-4 hours last night! 💟💟✝️✝️ God really gave me a gift 😁😁💟✝️✝️✝️💟💟😍
Okay Honestly this person is partly why my main goal is to end suicide, but not just him, all the people who feel like it’s a burden to be loved, and not meant to be here!!
-Also literally this is another answered prayer on trust/meeting others needs!
Okay so my friend hasn’t wanted to share because they don’t want to feel like a burden, he is more silent than lashing out, and I looked and found some ideas to meet their needs,- focus more on the things he is more comfortable with, and do talk about the deeper things he’s less comfortable about, still doing it but like the least, just build up to it so it’s not just in the same place of not growing with opening up, don’t say maybe anything all about anything that impacts me to feel hurt until he’s in a better mindspace, (I’ve noticed that not just with others but me that it just impacts us to feel very very fearful and push away), don’t say things that put me down or more insecurities because that’s not going to help God so it’s not going to help them, and when I do that it could impact them to reply partly because they think that did something wrong so they want to comfort me, so definitely try not to do that if I think it’ll help, just take it slow, find what helps with others, look at the patterns of others, videos, me, and of course Jesus and people in the Bible,
And I realized like I definitely need prayers on self control with this
(‼️Darkish- partly because like potentially one wrong move could and potentially did (even if I didn’t know it) impact Him to try to end Himself‼️, partly because, I’ve learned, he most likely thinks he has to be this perfect person to be loved, it’s like how people think they have to do something to be loved by God, that they have to earn His love to be loved by Him, but we don’t have to do anything to be loved! He loves us even if we don’t go to Him!-
He shows us we are loved in the times we mess up and the times we don’t mess up!- “But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!”
Romans 5:8 HCSB
-“Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
1 John 4:10 HCSB
And it’s like a whole new level, partly because not only have I been kind and have stuck with him for maybe more than 2 years, (a long time when I have never met him and he didn’t open up a lot, I did most of the opening up), but besides his pet, I think I’m the only one in his life who’s been kind and not left him consistently, and who’ve I’ve noticed has been a similar soul as me (a kind soul, a chosen by Jesus soul, a helping soul), so he may feel like if he shared too much or did something to impact me to be upset, then I would leave, and what would there be to live for, and honestly he’s said he doesn’t have anything to live for (that was at least a year or less, or more ago, but it doesn’t seem to be different as much), and I’ve noticed by words and patterns, that by God putting me in His life, that I definitely feel and know that if I wasn’t there in His life, he wouldn’t be alive today, like honestly that’s like wow, like some people say that should feel that a heavy weight, like it’s all relying on you in a pressure kind of way, but like I don’t know, when I think about being in his life casually and building up that friendship where He goes to God, it doesn’t feel like a burden, or something to fear, it feels hopeful, and it feels like I’m doing it with God, like I’m surrendering it to God, that I’m relying on Him and not doing anything alone, but when I think of it as this big thing, it feels like it’s all relying on me, I’ve got to help or it’s all gonna go wrong, this is big kind of way, it feels like something to fear, that somewhat pressure relying, but not a lot partly because I’m looking to Jesus in this, looking to- I’m not doing this alone, and I almost all have peace that if it’s God’s will for Him to go out of my life to save His life, than that’s the best thing I want, right now, writing this, last night when I was praying huge prayers for him, and for him to go into my life, and out of my life if it’s going to help our relationship with Jesus, and to have huge peace with it either way, when I was praying for that and now, I fully have peace, I trust the Lord that if he’s not supposed to be in my life for him to go to God then that’s okay, because I fully want what’s best for him in God, not me, so I’m realizing, that’s partly why it doesn’t feel like a burden that God put me in his life to rely on me in dealing with suicide, because ultimately I want whats best for him, not to benefit me but to benefit God in him! Praise Jesus!! Amen!! (Also it reminds me of the video in the comments below about how even tho letting go hurts, it’s what’s best for them so if it’s what’s best for them, then that’s the thing to prioritize, not holding onto them because we want to, but doing what’s best for them!)
So I think also that’s partly why I feel and have felt called to talk to him more recently, partly because I trust God fully and almost all a lot of the time with letting him go if that’s what He needs!
(Also not only did I I really feel the Holy Spirit telling me pray a huge huge powerful prayer last night that I don’t get a lot (the Holy Spirit overwhelming you prayer), but tonight I got the Holy Spirit hugely leading me to tell him if there’s anything he wants to share, any thoughts of not wanting to be here, and others, I want and hope he shares if he’s comfortable! (I really went to the Bible too, and I also found,- God places me in his life for a reason!- “We have this hope as an anchor for our lives, safe and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain.”
Hebrews 6:19 HCSB
So I definitely am asking for prayers for me for self control, all wisdom and just peace, and for him asking for continualled huge huge protection and growth to Jesus for him please ? And thank you!! 🙏🙏💜💜
And wisdom and prayers on if I should just show this or part of this to him please, partly because when I shared what I was going through, and the deeper parts of me, and my struggles it really seemed to help, he opened up about not wanting to be here, he said it made him happy when I was around/talked, and in general when I did less of the deeper talks he did less or non of the deeper talk, I feel he yearns for those talks because he yearns for something more, his Spirit yearn for a deep fulfillment for Christ, so when I talked about deeper things, he felt more full because they are actually helping the body, the soul, the mind, not just fun, lightness all the time, (also recently I showed him one of the posts and said it was more scary to post, and he looked at it, and when I said I prayed for peace for him later, he said “thank you, I appreciate it!” and he tends not to respond to me saying I pray for him, also I noticed he does better in a one on one chat with me (in the past, and the present) than with a more group area, others videos, and my posts, he opens up more when I talk to him one on one, I think that’s partly because I’ve been in his life for so long, and I noticed some other patterns of things he cautious about, like sharing his some of his specific interests, saying certain words, sharing more personally deep things, me worrying over him in the past (partly because he may feel like if I did feel unGodly/bad for him then I would try to hurt myself, partly because he may feel that way, he most likely compares himself to me and others), and other things! I’ve really learned a lot!
Also him opening up could be partly because he may have felt i would leave or I would feel unGodly (probably end myself, because he may think that’s what everyone wants to do when they feel unGodly/sad/all that partly because he feels that way) so it also could be not something to share with him because it could impact him to open up partly because if he didn’t he may think i would feel burdened/unloved if he didn’t, and him not believing in God at all or almost at all impacts him to think even more that if he did something wrong and hurt me, then I would end myself, so like wow, that’s a wow learning! This is definitely not only helping me with him but with others who’s has suicidal thoughts, other thoughts, feels like a burden, and just healing with it other things!
Also I just started recently talking to him more, so if I do share this with him, it definitely should be later, and go slow building up to the bigger conversations, (not trying to do repeat the same patterns as I did before, that didn’t help as much as it could have), and to get it out there, a lot of the deeper talks were back in 2024 (maybe mid/late 2024-mid/early- 25 I think, and then I was taking more about Jesus)
Also I realized today and yesterday a little bit, I felt a pull not to do learning for God in other things, and focus more on this, (and now today learn more on something else that’s for me and God), so i think some of it is Spiritual warfare, how I’m supposed to pursue this, not only to help others with mental health, but to help me grow in meeting others needs (and it’s a prayer with something else I’ve been praying for a while too!), but I think the enemy is trying to lead me in to temptation by the (little thought) of showing me I need to focus more on that than other things, this also is helping, getting it out there, writing learning this, it feels like that passionate writing when I was on the fast and need to write it out to let it all go (I think that’s partly because it’s helping me with the other prayer I’ve praying too, partly because I haven’t healed fully with it, partly because I don’t understand it fully), so wow this is helping me way way more than I thought haha! Also messaging him quicker/lighter/verses/more Jesus focused messages every 2 days (not in a schedule tho) I think would help, and deeper things messaging him every few days has been helping me stay grounded in feeling that urge of wanting to go to him before Jesus too, so definitely want to keep doing that! Also I realized, he (and I) have not gotten consumed in the past to be the only one to go to, and not others, partly because he may think of how one day I’ll leave because he may think everyone leaves, and it’s also just a, he (and I) know we need and want to prioritize other things, and not control others, so that helps and helped not only me but him prioritize not putting this one person as the person we go to the most on a putting the only person before God, only spending time with one person way, so i realize that helps me stay grounded! Amen 🙏
Okay so I realized today that this is something to pursue passionately, partly because this is part of my main goal! To help other trust me and to meet others needs so I can help others with wanting to end themselves, and all the dark things! And also it’s similar to the fast, where in order to surrender it to God, I needed to write it all down and pursue learning/my thoughts! So I found I still should do the other learning, but less, and more focused on doing this when God says, and not pulling away when He says to pursue it!
Also I don’t feel the need (almost all the way) to do things depending on if he harms himself, rather than doing things on God, partly because I trust God in that, and I’m at peace with it if He says not to have the friendship in my life, so that also helps me stay grounded in Jesus, (I still feel that pull sometimes to do things for him rather than Jesus first, but I know the more I grow in going to Him in those temptations, and learning more about how to help him in a deep growing way in these times, then the more I resist the devil’s temptations to put him first and not God! Amen 🙏
Also I realized partly I don’t feel as much as a pull to put him first, is partly because I want to help him heal more than get attention from that (when I still am healing of attention seeking), and since he has been more into deeper learning when opened up, and I wanted to learn, he yearns or yearned more for a deeper meaningful life than the lighter, temporary full filling things in life, so that shows more of, how he wants to learn, he just doesn’t feel worthy to learn to have a fullfilling life! & how o want a to learn! 2 heads are better than 1! So I realized tonight (and I realized in the past too), that when we had those deep talks, and it wasn’t a small amount, that he helped me grow into having a relationship with God even tho he wasn’t bringing towards Christ with Bible verses and taking about God, his kindness actually helped guide me to the path of living for Christ! (Along with gr, and others, but he was there for a while, it was the slower helping me go towards living for Christ goal), so I’m learning kindness not just about taking specifically about God (even this God is in everything) helps a long way too! It’s like actions speak louder than words! And it’s not just about faith, but works too!! Amen 🙏
So I feel like that will help him too! Taking about non God specific kindness and things like that more! I realized I feel a lot of fear to not do that because I feel that fear of, I’ll go a back a step away from Jesus and get pulled back to the world, but I know I can always go to Jesus with it, and the more I heal and grow in that, the more I realize that’s fear and an open perspective about it helps others and me too! Amen 🙏 Also I can go to Jesus word more and more in those times of fear which will help the most! Amen 🙏
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Biggest❓/LearningEver!WhatsTheBestWays2HelpAnUnbeliever(But KnowHesChosen)WhoDoestWant2BeHere&HelpedPartlyCauseTheyBelieveTheyreNotMeant2Live,FullyOrAlmostFully&FeelLikeABurdenIfTheyOpenUp?IFeelVeryCalled2LeadThem2God!
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