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10h (edited) โข Motivation/thoughts/quotes๐ก
Disagreements
"๐ผ ๐ข๐๐ฃ ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐ซ๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ฃ๐จ๐ฉ ๐๐๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐ก๐ก ๐๐จ ๐ค๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ข๐ ๐ค๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐๐ค๐ฃ ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ก๐ก"
-Quote attributed to Samuel Butler but popularized by Dale Carnegie (it seems like this quote is attributed to multiple people....so who knows who the originator is)
When you've found yourself having differing thoughts with someone else, what has your approach been to the conversation?
I've found that unless the other person feels seen or understood, most (not all) people are less likely to have 'buy in' into what you have to say and are more inclined to push back and really consider a different perspective.
You can corner someone with logic. You can overwhelm them with facts. You can even "win" the debate and they may 'concede' the argument, but if their heart isnโt actually open, nothing really changes.
Real change is chosen not coerced.
If you've found yourself shifting just to keep the peace or avoid discomfort, your internal narrative likely has stayed intact and perhaps even strengthened. Additionally there may be some feelings of resentment building. The belief is still there,j ust underground and the funny thing about underground beliefs is that they end up resurfacing in other ways.
I like this quote because it kind of invites us to see the other person. Instead of "forcing" someone into a belief/position, it asks us to come alongside another person so that they actually come alongside you as well. :) Maybe we ask questions and maybe we allow people to come to their own conclusions, even if it takes a bit longer. Maybe we take the time to understand their "side" before forcing them before they're ready. Who knows, we may end up learning something along the way :)
Have you ever โwonโ an argument but lost the person? Or been on the other side where you gave in just to keep the peace but internally nothing changed?
(The video's audio is kind of all over the place, but it had some good points! sorry for the imagery on the clip).
When I engage in argumentation, I'm there to win
When I engage in argumentation, I'm there to understand or learn something
I never engage in that type of dialogue (I don't see the point or it stresses me out)
I don't feel adept enough to engage in this type of dialogue or I just give in right away
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Disagreements
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