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Oct 20 • Mental Health 🧠
🌸 DBT Skill Spotlight: Radical Acceptance
I'll be honest, this one has been a tough one for me at times. There were times when I thought that accepting something meant that I was okay or resigned to it. Over time with repeated experiences and also with some intentional work, I've recognized that this is not the case. I can accept the reality of something but not necessarily be resigned to it or think that it's okay. This has allowed me to have more power and mobility in situations. (There are still some things where the "shoulds" creep in, but progress is being made and that counts for something, right?)
So... What is Radical Acceptance?
Radical acceptance means fully accepting reality as it is in this moment, even if we do not like it or agree with it. It sounds like: “This is what is happening. I may not approve of it, but I can accept that it is real.”
**Acceptance does not mean approval or giving up. It means letting go of the suffering that comes from resisting what already exists.**
🧠 Why It Matters
When we resist reality, we add more pain on top of pain.Thoughts like:“I shouldn’t have to deal with this.”“This is not fair.”“This can’t be happening.”All of these increase emotional suffering because we're pushing against something that IS happening, something that we ARE dealing with"
Acceptance creates space for calm, clarity, and healing. It also leaves room for empowerment and movement---breathing space to see where one CAN take action.
Examples of Radical Acceptance
-“I cannot change what happened, but I can choose how I respond.”
- “This situation is painful, and it is part of my current reality and this is how I'm going to engage it"
- “I wish things were different, and I accept that right now they are not.”
- “I do not have control over others, only my own choices.”
🧘♀️ How to Practice
1.Notice when you are mentally fighting reality--pause and observe (is there mental or physical tension?)
2.Pause and take a deep breath. (the pause gives us enough space to become more intentional rather than reactive)
3. Name what is true in this moment.
4. Add compassion by saying, “It makes sense that I feel this way, and I can still choose peace.” "I can choose to act in ways that are aligned with my values"
🌼 Therapist Tip
Radical acceptance takes time and practice. You may need to practice it again and again, and that is normal...There are constant opportunities forthis. Each time you return to acceptance, your body learns that peace is possible even in discomfort.
Re-emphasis: The difference between acceptance and resignation is a very important one when trying to move through or solve a challenge. Resignation leads to feelings of hopelessness and sense of stuckness. We stop looking for solutions. New solutions may present themselves but from a state of resignation we may not even notice them.
Question for reflection:
What is one area of your life where fighting reality has kept you stuck?How might acceptance help you find a small sense of relief today?
Do you have a hard time accepting challenging situations?
I have an easy time accepting challening situations
I fight/have a hard time accepting challening situations. I use a lot of "should" type language
Depends on the issue-will explain below
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🌸 DBT Skill Spotlight: Radical Acceptance
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