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8h (edited) • Motivation/thoughts/quotes💡
Are we quiet quitting our lives? Our lives aren't a practice run! Let's go!! :) :)
"“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation" Henry David Thoreau
"Alas for those that never sing, But die with all their music in them!" Oliver Wendell Holmes
I think about the Thoreau quote often and wonder the sparks that people keep hidden inside of them...One of the blessings and more rewarding parts of my job is that sometimes I get to help people explore this--to help bring out the spark that makes them feel alive. Seeing someone's eyes light up is such a privilege and brings so much joy.
It can be easy to drift through life without much intention, agency, or self reflection. It's easy to keep ourselves trapped in a cage of our own making.
But....we CAN create a life that doesn't turn into desperation or having us go to the grave with the song still in our hearts..
Here are some things to consider:
1. Name Your Values And Revisit Them Often
-when people feel they are “quietly desperate,” it is usually because their lives drift far away from what they actually care about.
How to do it: a. Write down the top five things you want your life to stand for b.Ask yourself weekly: “Did I live 1% percent closer to these?” c. Let your values make small decisions easier, so you avoid emotional autopilot
Psychology tie in: Values based behavior reduces avoidance and increases a sense of agency :)
2. Practice Micro Courage
Quiet desperation often grows from years of small silences--of not speaking up, not trying to step outside of the comfort zone, not risking and not starting.
Micro courage: tiny brave acts a. Sending the email/text b. trying the class c. sking the question d.making the change while it is still small
Psychology tie in: Every micro act of courage builds your psychological flexibility and shrinks your fear barrier.
3. Get Out Of “All Or Nothing” Thinking
A reason people end up feeling stuck is because they think change must be massive or immediate.When the mind goes all or nothing, it has a much harder time acting in some instances. Some people can operate on the 'go big or go home' mentality, but likely they've had a lot of practice in saying yes to smaller steps along the way to where it can be easier to embark on the bigness.
Shift instead to:• “What is the next one percent I can improve?”• “What is the smallest step that moves me toward the life I want?”
Psychology tie in: Tiny consistent actions rewire your approach system and strengthen self efficacy.
4. Create A Life With Regular Awe Moments (this goes back to yesterday's post)
Awe breaks the trance of routine. It widens your perspective and lowers stress markers. It also reminds you that the world is larger than your worries.
Add awe intentionally:a. Nature• b. art c. Music d.Deep conversations• e.Sunrises and night skies
psychological tie in : Awe disrupts quiet desperation by expanding your sense of possibility.
5. Let Yourself Want Things (Without Immediately Cancelling Them)
A surprising amount of desperation comes from suppressing desire because it feels risky, inconvenient, or too hopeful. This goes back to the silent quieting point above.
Try this:• When you want something, let the want exist--Write it down instead of canceling it and explore what it's there for. Explore what small version of it you can try
Desire doesn't have to be dangerous.
6. Build A Support Squad
People who avoid the “quiet desperation” trap almost always have a few humans they can be honest with. People that can encourage them or that can challenge them positively.
Your support crew does not need to be huge but connection is important. Surrounding yourself with people that share similar values or the values/things that you want to embody are beneficial.
Why it matters:Support helps you track blind spots, reduce avoidance, and stay aligned with goals when your brain gets rowdy.
7. Regularly Audit Your Life
Every few months, ask:: What am I tolerating out of habit?; Where am I disconnected from what I value?; What feels stale, small, or false? What needs a refresh or a boundary?
A life that is examined regularly does not quietly decay.
8. Give Your “Song” Some Air
Your song is your talent, your excitement, your weirdness, your ideas, your curiosity, your voice.
You do not need to publish a book or paint a mural to express it, though you can! Yonly need to act on it a little, regularly.
(the video covers vulnerability and not being scared of living)
Is there anything that you guys have been silently stifling?
What makes you feel alive? :)
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Are we quiet quitting our lives? Our lives aren't a practice run! Let's go!! :) :)
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