There are days where I find my internal state or mood to feel a bit... off. And I am a big advocate of how you feel inside, is how you come across outside. Today is one of those days. I wake up around 9am and I was still tired from my terrible sleep habits. I got some food, watched some YouTube videos on social dynamics and I felt pretty good, however I noticed that I was feeling a bit out of it. I have a pool party to get to later today and I don't want to feel the same way once I'm there. I want to be in the moment and enjoy myself, however if I know myself, I'll need to do somethings that make me proud of myself in order to get there. Posting in here is one of those things since I want to play a more active role in this community. Going to the gym is another activity that makes me feel good about myself. A bit of caffeine, some reading, and meditation will help me get in the right head space. This is where I will tell you how you can succeed in your social interactions. Do things that make you proud of yourself. Treat yourself with love and compassion and your positive energy will leak onto those around you. You'll feel good and so will they. I want to live up to what I preach so as I finish this and my tea, I'll be on my way to the gym. -Rasheed McRay

I realized that if my reason for building confidence was to be more accepted by other people, then at its core, my confidence would rely on how I was perceived and treated by others. If someone laughed at what I said, I felt good. If they stared at me with confusion, I doubted myself. That isn't confidence. It's people pleasing that uses confidence as a disguise. Confidence shows up more in how you treat yourself. Not by how you interact with other people. Once I realized this, I allowed myself to hold back on my people pleasing tendencies. I spoke up more, I rejected more invitations, I declined more requests, not because I was a bad person, but because I was prioritizing how I felt and what mattered to me. This doesn't mean I've gotten rid of my people pleasing entirely though. It's part of who I am, I like to see people happy and it's even part of the reason why I started this community, but I set boundaries to not compromise myself. This took some time to work on and I'm still working on it, however the change in how I feel about myself has been transformative. -Rasheed McRay

Conversation is the transfer of energy. When your energy is on point so will how you come across to other people. The anxious guy, makes other people anxious. The sad guy, make other people sad. But, on the other side of that same coin... The laughing guy, gets other people to laugh. The guy who's is comfortable in his own skin, helps those around him feel more comfortable in their own skin as well. If you can feel good on the inside, not through bravado or acting, then you can get others to feel good too. That's the truth. -Rasheed McRay

Often times when we find ourselves not liking someone for some reason, it tends to be because they exhibit a trait we wish we showed more of ourselves. I hated skinny guys who worked out for the longest time. I hated hard working guys that seemed undisciplined for a long time. I still hate people who can play Ganondorf better than me in Smash Bros. However, I learned that I hated these people because I wished to be more like them. Maybe you noticed it yourself. You see the tall guy who looks charming, approach the girl you were too scared to talk to, only to see her giggling, and joyfully giving her number to the guy. “Tall guys, they make it look so easy” That’s envy. You WISH you had those qualities. Hate only comes from below. The hate or rejection you’re scared of experiencing, if you go up and talk to someone… that’s your own voice talking down on you. I was my own worst enemy for the longest time, even had suicide on my mind for years during and after highschool. The best way to remedy that social anxiety within you, is to change how you treat and see yourself. Become someone you’re proud of. Take Over Your World -Rasheed McRay