15d • Mental Health & Healing
Holiday Blues
I was talking to a good friend of mine and he told me that the best way to get over my past is forgiveness. When he said that I got a knot in my pit of my stomach and the thoughts of not wanting to be here came rushing in. It is just a word that triggers a intense feeling of sadness, and I don't know why or how to move out of it. I do not want to hate or hold a grudge against anyone, but some of the wounds cut so deep forgiveness feels impossible. Even worse when it is my siblings. If they were on fire I would not piss on them to put out the flames, and I do not like that I feel that way about them. It is especially tough this time of year as in 2023 and 2024 Thanksgiving and Christmas did not happen for me. No tree, no presents, no family. This year will be different, I am spending the holidays with my girlfriend and her family, but I am really missing my daughter who has not spoken to me in over two years. I am hoping that creating new positive memories of the holidays will help me move on.
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Holiday Blues
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