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Spiritual Bypassing in Grief Support: What It Is, Why It Hurts, and What to Do Instead
You've heard them. You've probably said some of them. Most of us have, in moments of not knowing what else to say: "Everything happens for a reason." "They're in a better place." "Heaven needed another angel." "At least they're not suffering anymore." “They are with God now.” "You have so much to be grateful for." “It was part of their Karma.” These phrases come from a place of love. They come from the genuine desire to ease pain — from the human impulse to reach for comfort when comfort feels desperately needed. And they land, almost universally, like a door closing. What Is Spiritual Bypassing? The term "spiritual bypassing" was coined by psychologist John Welwood to describe the use of spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep unresolved emotional issues — to use spirituality as a way of avoiding, rather than engaging with, the difficult material of human experience. In grief, spiritual bypassing looks like using spiritual language to shortcut the grieving process. To skip from the raw and ragged reality of loss to the "lesson" or the "meaning" or the "silver lining" before the person has had time to actually feel and move through what has happened. It is almost always done with good intentions. And it almost always causes harm. Why It Hurts More Than Just Feelings When someone in acute grief hears "everything happens for a reason," here is what it often communicates to them (even if that's not the intention): Your pain is not welcome here. I can’t sit with you in this. Please find your way to an acceptable feeling so that I can feel comfortable again. I need you to see loss and spirituality the way I do. It also, for many people, implies that their loss was supposed to happen. That it was ‘ordained’. That they should be able to locate the meaning and move on. For a parent who has lost a child. For someone whose loss was violent or senseless. For anyone in the early rawness of devastating grief — this is not comfort. It is isolation, and sometimes it is profoundly re-traumatizing.
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Spiritual Bypassing in Grief Support: What It Is, Why It Hurts, and What to Do Instead
Learn How to Offer Extra Support for People in Grief during the Holidays
“The love we found, the love we found, we carry with us so we’re never quite alone.” ~ The cast of The Muppet Christmas Carol song composed by Paul Williams 💚❤️💚 ❤️❤️ Comment HOLIDAYS for my ‘Navigating the Holidays’ supportive master classes, a $199 value, FREE! ❤️❤️ Hi I’m trauma-informed Holistic Grief Educator and Grief Coach Pamela Ann Noxon and no matter who someone is missing, I want to help you help them find the inspiration and tools to make grieving at this time of year a little more bearable. But please keep in mind; we don’t fix grief. Grief is not a pathology and it has no solution. Grief is one of the most natural and human things we will ever experience and we will all experience it. Grief is actually love. But you can learn the type of conscious support that everyone deserves that helps support them as they hold grief’s hand for the rest of their life. Supporting them in ways that will make a real difference. Supporting them holistically; in mind, body, nervous system, emotions, spirit, and soul. In this powerful and helpful series I cover topics like: *Dealing with the World; managing people, family, friends, and coworkers in grief. *To Celebrate or not to Celebrate; How to handle the holidays when everything is different. *A Griever’s Rights; understanding a griever’s basic rights and how to set a safe mindset. *Finding a Light in the Darkness; ways to manage in the darkness of grief and loss. *Secrets of Holistic Grief Support; people have been navigating Grief for millennia, discover ancient and natural, holistic ways to help support others in their grief journey. * The 3 Cs of Healthy Grieving; Connection, Compassion, and Care to help anyone face the new year. “As always another great session. I can’t thank you enough for doing these live sessions. It is so very kind of you to give your precious wisdom and insight as we try to adjust to the loss of our Loved Ones. The kindness and compassion in your voice reflects your love light, which shines so bright. Thank you again. ”
Navigating the Holidays in Grief DAY 1: A Griever’s Rights
Did you know that grievers have rights? Understanding them and embodying them can be a solid foundation for anyone to navigate loss - especially around the holidays. Trauma-informed Holistic Grief educator and Grief Coach and Founder of Mourning Goods, Pamela Ann Noxon shares her wisdom and holistic conscious and loving style to help support grievers. This video and all information is for adults and can be helpful for anyone in grief. No information is to be considered therapy or medical advice. By viewing you agree to all terms please see website for complete policies. HANDOUT LINK: https://drive.google.c... For more information or to work with or get certified as a Holistic Grief Coach with Pamela please communicate via: https://www.mourninggo... Holistic Grief Coaching Is Not: ~ A substitute for a therapist, psychiatrist, or medical professional. ~ Emergency support. Emotional processing occurs during scheduled sessions. Pamela is not available for crisis communication outside of appointments. ~ A guarantee of specific outcomes. Every grief journey is unique; coaching supports your capacity for insight, resilience, and integration. Holistic grief coaching focuses on personal growth, meaning-making, and navigating life after loss through a non-clinical, integrative, and supportive approach. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency or crisis, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. Coaching is not designed for crisis intervention.
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Learn how to support grievers with a conscious, holistic approach with trauma-informed Holistic Grief Educator and Grief Coach, Pamela Ann Noxon
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