You can’t build something strong if your heart is still living in chapters you were never part of. My past may explain who I was... the choices I made, the mistakes I stumbled through, the roads I took alone.. but it does not define the path we are walking together. There were days I wasn’t whole, moments I didn’t understand love, and times I made decisions I wish I could erase. But all of that was before I found you. Before I knew that someone like you could exist in my life, someone who would bring out the best in me, someone who would teach me what it truly means to love and be loved in return. My past may offer answers, it may carry regrets or lessons, but it is not the measure of who I am with you. The love I have for you, the life I want to build with you, cannot grow in the memories of old mistakes or shadows of who I once was. It can only grow in the light of the present, in the space we share, in the trust we are giving and in the choices I make now—every day—choosing you. So, I ask you, gently but sincerely, to let go of what I did before I chose you. Those days belong to a story that ended the moment I finally accepted that everything in my past was done. What matters now is us—what we are creating, dreaming, and building together. See me not as the person I was, but as the person I am becoming because of you, and because of the love we share. Our story does not start in my past; it starts in the moment we found each other. And I promise you this: my heart is here, fully, and completely yours. Every heartbeat, every thought, every choice—it’s all for you. I need you to understand something about the version of me that didn’t know better. I didn’t come into our relationship perfect... I came in with blind spots, triggers, and broken pieces I was still learning how to heal. Some days I didn’t even understand myself, but even then, I was trying. If you keep judging me based on who I was when you met me, you’ll never truly see who I am becoming. That person was shaped by lessons I hadn’t learned yet. But I’m learning now. I’m growing. I’m choosing to be better, even when it’s hard, even when I stumble.

Lately, I’ve been running on nothing. It isn't sadness, and it isn't anger—it is just nothing. It’s as if I’ve cried every tear and screamed every word I had in me, and now I am left with nothing but silence inside. I wake up tired. I move through the hours like a shadow of myself. I smile when it's needed and I nod when it is expected, but none of it feels real anymore. The world keeps spinning, but I feel stuck—completely drained of color and meaning. I find myself staring at walls, watching the light shift across the floor, waiting for a spark that never comes. Conversations feel like scripts I’ve memorized but no longer understand. I hear my own voice speaking, yet it sounds like it’s coming from someone else, miles away. It’s a strange kind of exhaustion that sleep can’t fix. It’s the weight of a thousand things I can’t name, pressing down until there's no room left to breathe, yet I feel light as air—hollow and drifting. I’m mourning a version of myself that I can’t quite remember how to be. I’m not even sure when this started. I just know that I don’t feel like me anymore. I wouldn't even say I'm broken... I'm just numb. And somehow, the absence of feeling hurts more than the pain ever did.