Questions about the most recent teaching

Okay so lots of questions with the call and things I’m brushing up against.

I can comprehend the idea that when you look at reality - there is the witness and what is being observed therefore - duality.

But does non dualism = non existence?

If love is real and therefore life is real - where does life go when there is nothing to observe or no observer? When you go beyond that as God - where is life?

Life is real and love does not exist separate from life..

I imagine life wanting to be expressed infinitely like its piercing through with so much love because it wants to be expressed / experienced.. so my question is - does non-dualism = nothing

A part of me feels like even that is thinking in terms of non dualism because that’s going from thinking there is everything and so non dualism must mean there is nothing but what if non dualism can exist within the integration of the two..

like reality as an illusion becomes alive because it is - and what if waking up to non dualism doesn’t erase form - it eases the idea that life and matter aren't actually the same sentient being that we all are and that we are fully connected to it.

I think where I get stuck is I still feel like there is something beyond this .. like we wake up out of the illusion of separation which is essentially complete disconnection from life itself (which is also us) for it to dissolve into nothingness? … but what if what happens is that non dualism is something that opens within us and therefore reality becomes something we are so beyond connected to that we can’t even comprehend what that would be like because we have only known form to be separate.

I see humanity in all its pain and suffering over all the years of living in separation but within all of that pain and suffering there is also so much beauty - life humanity earth is beautiful.. it doesn’t make sense to me that we would return to god for all of that to dissolve? I understand it’s an “illusion” but does illusion mean nothing or does it mean distortion ? Like distortion meaning there is no single thing (no thing)

When I look at nature like a mountain or an animal - I sometimes wonder maybe it is showing us the paradox that life can be experienced in a non dualistic way that does not erase the illusion. It becomes it so fully. I don’t think a plant or a tree or a bug sees itself as separate from nature or life. Like the part I brush up against is when you wake up to see life, earth, humanity as it is beyond separation- it is so fucking fantastic and exquisite. Why would the goal be to transcend that and maybe that’s not what actually happens?

That’s just some stuff that has come out of me and that I wanted to share..

Is this my egos attachment to form itself? Is this gods love for life shining through? You can’t witness God but what about embodiment of God connected to everything in form as non dualism? Is that a paradox?

I feel sadness I feel fear and I feel a disconnect so what am I misunderstanding?

What would a world look like where all humans on the planet woke up out of the illusion of separation and duality? Does the dream and illusion dissolve or does it become more alive and real?

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