Here is the funny and silly thing about marriage. You may be thinking that the bond holding your marriage together is very solid like concrete. Whilst that may be true, always keep in mind that there are phases you can pass through in the journey of your relationship that will make you realize how feeble and fragile marriage can be. And how easily it could be broken, damaged or completely destroyed by something very stupid and nonsensical that even has absolutely nothing to do with a direct dispute between you and your spouse. Sometimes big disputes and volcanic disagreements DO NOT destroy a marriage. It is usually that tiny inconsequential matter often overlooked that creates the most dangerous and destructive tension in the home and marriage. It is always a third party agent! No matter what happens, please try your very best to put pride, ego and arrogance aside and have an honest and open conversation aimed at resolution. Not every dispute should be capable of destroying marriage! Some strengthens the bond of the union and boosts your knowledge and understanding of how best to do things right next time. Remember "soft words breakthrough the bone." (Prov.25:15) Communication is key! Shamel Ddon

A lot of men that people call bad husbands and bad fathers are NOT as bad as people think. No! Lack of money can make a man fall short on his ability and capacity to provide for his family. Thus, people are quick to label him as a bad man, a bad husband and a bad father. Sadly, it seems as though the only yardstick used in measuring if a man is good or bad is his financial capability and his ability to provide money. Hmmm Most men do not ask for help...for obvious reasons. That's quite heartbreaking! Shamel Ddon

SOMETIMES STRICT PARENTING IS LOVE IN DISGUISE Years ago, a former student told me something I have never forgotten: “If my parents had not been firm and strict about my phone usage from a young age, my phone would have ruined my education and perhaps my life.” She explained how her parents sometimes confiscated her phone, restricted her access for weeks, monitored her usage and refused to give in when she became upset. At the time, she thought they were harsh. Years later, after graduating from university, she understood. That is one of the difficult realities of parenting: children will not always understand the wisdom behind the boundaries protecting them. Sometimes good parenting will make you temporarily unpopular. Your child may frown, complain, argue or accuse you of being too strict. But if the boundary is reasonable, loving and genuinely in their best interest, do not dismantle it simply because they are unhappy. Children naturally prefer what feels good now. Parents must sometimes think about what will protect them later. It is hard to explain to a child that a bitter medicine will give them a sweet health. You must find a way to administer the bitter medicine anyway. Phones, games and social media can be useful, but without guidance they can consume hours meant for sleep, study, exercise, conversation and personal development. This is why loving parenting sometimes requires firmness. Set routines. Limit screen time. Monitor appropriately. Say “Enough for today” and mean it. Of course, discipline should never become humiliation, fear or cruelty. Children deserve explanations, respect and opportunities to develop responsible choices as they mature. But giving a child freedom without boundaries is not automatically kindness. Sometimes the boundary they resent at twelve becomes the discipline they thank you for at twenty-five. Do not feel guilty for lovingly doing what your child may not yet have the maturity to do for themselves. One day, they may finally understand that the parent who occasionally said “No” was also protecting the future in which they would eventually say “Thank you.”

FATHER, TALK TO YOUR SON This message is especially for fathers raising boys. Many boys are naturally quieter, more reserved and less expressive. They may struggle to start conversations or explain what they are feeling, even when a lot is happening inside them. That is why fathers must be intentional. Do not wait for your son to always come to you. Go to him. Talk to him about anything—football, school, music, games, life, your own childhood, even something funny. Those simple conversations can build confidence, trust and emotional openness. Normalise hugging your son. Kiss him on the forehead. Tell him you love him. Tell him you are proud of him. Do not assume that because he is a boy, he does not need tenderness. Some boys grow up emotionally empty because affection was given freely to their sisters while they were simply expected to “be strong.” Then they become men who struggle to express love because nobody taught them how. You cannot easily pour from a cup that was never filled. Play with him too. Kick a football. Play a board game, video game or verbal game. Laugh together. Those moments may seem small, but they create memories, trust and opportunities to teach some of life’s greatest lessons without turning everything into a lecture. One day, that boy may become a husband and father. And part of the man he becomes will be shaped by how his father spoke to him, loved him, laughed with him and made him feel valued. Fathers, do not only raise your sons to be strong men. Teach them how to become loving men too. ~ ShamelDdon

SET THE BOUNDARY BEFORE THE GADGET TAKES CONTROL Technology is here to stay. Phones, tablets, gaming devices and computers can support learning, creativity and communication—but without clear boundaries, they can also become addictive and disruptive. The answer is not always to ban gadgets or constantly confiscate them. The deeper goal is to raise children who understand that the gadget does not control the home. A parent should be able to calmly say, “Please put the phone down now,” and the child should obey without shouting, threats or a long argument. If a child becomes verbally abusive, aggressive or completely loses control because they were asked to stop gaming or put away a phone, that behaviour usually did not begin overnight. It often grew from small things that were repeatedly tolerated: the extra five minutes, the ignored instruction, the backchat, the stubbornness that seemed harmless. Small boundaries surrendered today can become major battles tomorrow. So start early. Create clear routines around screen time, homework, meals, bedtime and family time. Explain the rules calmly, apply them fairly and remain consistent. Children can be heard and respected, but every basic instruction should not become a negotiation. Authority does not mean aggression. Firmness does not mean cruelty. Technology should be something your child uses—not something that controls their emotions, attitude or behaviour. Teach them early to enjoy gadgets without becoming dependent on them, and to understand that when Mum or Dad says, “Enough for now,” they can put it down without a battle. That is not harsh parenting. That is structure. And structure, when combined with love, fairness and consistency, is a gift. ~ ShamelDdon