CLASSISM: THE INVISIBLE WALLS WE PRETEND NOT TO SEE Whether we like it or not, accept it or deny it, debate it or defend it, we live in a world deeply shaped by classism. Humanity speaks passionately about equality, yet much of society is organised around separation—by wealth, social status, race, geography, nationality and opportunity. We condemn discrimination in principle, while quietly maintaining systems that often determine who gets more comfort, better access, greater opportunity and sometimes even a better chance of survival. Classism has become so normalised that we rarely call it by its name. Instead, we dress it in respectable language: Premium Service. VIP. First Class. Economy. Priority Access. Private Education. Exclusive Membership. Developed World. Developing World. The words sound harmless. But behind some of them lies an uncomfortable question: How much of human dignity should money be allowed to buy? If class does not matter, why can wealth determine the neighbourhood you can afford to live in, the schools your children can access, the quality and speed of healthcare available to you, the comfort with which you travel, and sometimes even how easily you can cross a border? Two equally brilliant children can be born on the same day, yet one inherits opportunity while the other inherits obstacles—not because one is more intelligent, disciplined or deserving, but because their starting points are different. Two sick people may carry the same pain, yet their bank balances can profoundly influence the choices available to them. We have somehow created a world where money does not merely purchase possessions; it can purchase access, convenience, influence, time and opportunity. Of course, differences in price and service are not automatically injustice. People will always make different choices and have different resources. But society should become uncomfortable when economic differences begin determining whose potential is developed, whose suffering is prolonged, whose voice is heard and whose humanity appears to matter more.

PEOPLE MAY ADDRESS YOU THE WAY YOU DRESS This message is especially for young people. Before leaving home, look at yourself and ask: “What message does my appearance send to people who don't know me?” It may seem unfair, but people often form impressions before they know your character, intelligence or background. People may address you according to the way you dress. This is why it worries me to see groups of teenagers dressed entirely in black, sometimes covering their faces with balaclavas or bandanas and wearing gloves in public places. Such clothing does not make anyone a criminal, but in certain circumstances it can understandably create fear and suspicion. Even more heartbreaking are videos of teenagers entering shops in groups to steal. Young people, please understand: Shoplifting is not achievement. Gang membership is not brotherhood. Drug dealing is not entrepreneurship. Frightening innocent people is not strength. You may steal today and escape. You may even escape tomorrow. But repeated success can deceive you into believing there will never be consequences. There may be. CCTV, police records and criminal convictions can follow people into adulthood. Depending on the circumstances, something done at 15, 16 or 17 may later affect employment opportunities or appear in relevant DBS vetting. Never exchange a few minutes of teenage excitement for years of adult regret. I am particularly passionate about young Black people because the actions of a minority can reinforce stereotypes that unfairly affect completely innocent Black children and adults. That is why we must condemn both criminal behaviour and racial stereotyping. Crime has no colour, and no person's character should ever be determined by their race. The painful irony is that our young people possess enormous potential. Black children, like children from every community, are excelling academically, creatively, professionally and in entertainment. There is tremendous talent waiting to be developed.

CHILDREN LEARN MORE FROM WHAT WE DO Parenting is not only about what we tell our children; it is also about what they repeatedly see us do. How do you tell your child not to smoke while you smoke? How do you explain the dangers of drinking when they regularly see you drinking? How do you teach respectful communication when they hear you swearing, shouting and speaking aggressively to others? And how do you teach honesty when they hear you say, “Tell them I'm not home,” while you are sitting beside them watching television? What seems like a harmless lie to an adult can teach a child that dishonesty is acceptable when it is convenient. Children notice these contradictions. They watch how we speak, behave when angry, treat people, keep promises and handle our weaknesses. Parents do not have to be perfect. We can admit our mistakes and tell our children, “I got this wrong; please don't repeat it.” But our effort to change must also be visible. You cannot continually demonstrate one lifestyle and expect occasional lectures to produce the opposite character in your child. Sometimes, before correcting the child, we must confront the adult in the mirror. Remember, your lifestyle is speaking to your children even when your mouth is closed. The most powerful parenting lesson may not be what you tell your children, but what they watch you become. A lot of times the girl child learn promiscuity by watching snd observing how her mum communicate with multiple male friends, entertain them and flagrantly go out with them whenevershe feels like. Even though she may not be doing anything "nasty" with them all, but she has quietly sold an impression to her daughter and that will stay in her memory for life. Sadly, when she begins to come of age, she too would want to experiment what she grew up seeing her mum do. Perhaps, she has no experience to navigate without harming herself and personality. Be guided! ~ ShamelDdon

FRIENDSHIP: NOT EVERY VALUE HAS A PRICE TAG Something is quietly changing about friendship. Nowadays, people often ask: “Why keep them as a friend if there is nothing to gain?” “What value are they adding to your life?” There is nothing wrong with wanting meaningful friendships. But when “value” becomes another word for money, status, connections and opportunities, friendship becomes transactional. We begin to measure people by what they can provide. Yet some friends may never have enough money to rescue you financially, but they would cross an ocean for you in other areas of life. They may attend your event empty-handed because they cannot afford a gift, yet arrive early to help set up and remain after everyone has gone to help you pack up. They came without a present, but their presence became the present. They may not give you money, but they send you job vacancies, remind you about opportunities, offer sincere advice, encourage your growth and defend your name in rooms you never entered. Most importantly, they genuinely want to see you succeed. Sadly, such friends are sometimes overlooked because they don't drive expensive cars or arrive bearing fancy gifts. Meanwhile, never assume your wealthy friends are automatically your best friends. Someone can buy you expensive gifts and still secretly envy you. Someone can have powerful connections yet quietly undermine you. And the person who cannot afford dinner may be the one willing to stand beside you when everyone else disappears. Money is important, but it is a terrible instrument for measuring the human heart. Not every valuable friend has money, and not every wealthy friend has genuine value. Some people bring gifts. Some bring connections. Some bring opportunities. And some simply bring loyalty, honesty, time, sacrifice and a clean heart. Never underestimate the last group. When life becomes difficult, you may discover that the friend you thought had “nothing to offer” was carrying something money could never buy:

MODERN DAY MARRIAGE (MDM): WHEN LOVE BECOMES A TRANSACTION Something troubling is happening to marriage. Modern Day Marriage (MDM) is gradually becoming less of a union between two hearts and more of a transaction between two people carrying quietly hidden agendas. Society calls it being “intentional.” There is nothing wrong with choosing a spouse wisely, but somewhere along the way, intentionality has slowly been redefined as profitability. “Marry someone you will benefit from.” “What are you bringing to the table?” “Marry up.” “For better, for best.” Marriage is beginning to sound like a business negotiation where people calculate assets, liabilities and returns on investment even before they consider to engage in the business. Everyone wants someone who will add value to their life, but fewer people ask: “Whose life am I prepared to add value to?” We talk about standards but rarely sacrifice; expectations but not endurance; receiving but hardly giving. Some now enter marriage primarily for financial security, social status, migration opportunities, escape from poverty or access to a better lifestyle. The spouse gradually becomes a means to an end. Eventually, the marriage begins to resemble an Employer–Employee relationship. One person wants maximum output for minimum investment, while the other quietly does the barest minimum, watching the exit door and wondering whether a better “job opportunity” will appear. Both are protecting personal interests while forgetting something important: If the organisation collapses, everyone connected to it eventually pays a price. And sadly, innocent children are sometimes sitting inside that collapsing organisation. They never negotiated the marriage or created its selfish agendas, yet they inherit the emotional consequences—growing up watching two people share a house without sharing a heart. Perhaps we have also become too interested in the glamour of weddings and insufficiently interested in the reality of marriage.