I write about grief. I've been running my pet loss grief website for 25 years. My mission has always been to make people feel less alone, by collecting the real life experiences and feelings, the honest, raw, devastating times, in moments of grief, from as many people as possible. To make a living library of those captured moments, that people can turn to and read about when they are in their own, to help them understand, that they are not in fact alone, in any of this. I do this because I think understanding it, acknowledging how you are actually feeling, and talking about the things society tries to prevent people talking about, is a lot more helpful than pretending otherwise. I think we're conditioned to feel like being open and honest about non positive feelings and experiences is wrong somehow, that we should keep them to ourselves, that we should not bother other people with them and bring the mood down etc, that having these feelings and admitting them is somehow weakness and failure, that it's somehow not polite to ever really and truthfully answer the question "how are you?" except with a response as tokenistic as the question generally is. Personally I've always thought this was harmful and unhelpful. Society tends to ignore and downplay, and also try to make people feel like they should not share, the negative aspects of life, the feelings of overwhelm, not coping, feelings of hopelessness etc. Whilst actively encouraging only the end part of the hero's journey. Subsequently we tend to only find out about the difficult parts in hindsight, as a side note, as a past chapter in the story of what was overcome and what was achieved in the end, as opposed to people talking about the difficult parts whilst they are actually in them. A classic example is when Christopher Reeve became paralysed after his horse riding accident. He was a professional horseman for 10 years, he had a yacht he manned himself, he ran for miles every morning, and when he had his accident, he would dream every night in his hospital bed that he was doing all of those things again, just as he always had. Then he would wake up every morning to the harsh reality of never being able to do any of them, or even normal every day things again, to the grief of the life he had lost, and be devastated all over again. He said it was like going through it again every time he woke up. Like a cruel joke being played repeatedly. He was devastated and depressed and spent the first 6 months asking the doctors to kill him, and said that if he had not had the financial means to get out of the hospital and be treated privately in his home, which many people don't, at the time, in that moment of difficulty, he would have preferred to die.