A Black Mother on the verdict · Deconstructing with Aleeza

A Black Mother on the verdict

Valarie asks Parents to read and respond, so I'll do the same. What do you hear this mother saying? What meaning does it have for you? Here's the post:

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I am going to say this, then I’m off of it, and off social media for a while: As a Black mother who raised Black sons, the verdict has stirred up emotions that have very little to do with one case and everything to do with a reality many of us have lived.

I sacrificed for the education of my children. Because I could not afford private school, I drove six children to four different schools because I believed access mattered. I believed environment mattered. I believed opportunity mattered.

Eventually, I moved my family to Allen (in Collin County) because it was considered at the time, one of the best school districts in the nation.

What I learned was that academic opportunity and emotional safety are not always the same thing.

My son’s first major disciplinary issue came from being late to class. Something that might have earned detention elsewhere resulted in placement in an alternative setting. And once he was sent there, something else happened that many people don’t talk about.

He found people who looked like him. Children who had been labeled. Children who had been separated.

Children who had already begun carrying the weight of other people’s assumptions.

In many ways, they became family to one another. Not because they were bad children, but because they shared a common experience. They knew what it felt like to stand on the outside looking in.

When a child feels rejected by one community, they will almost always build another.

Years later, one fight, one interpretation of events, and one decision resulted in a felony charge that followed him long after childhood was over, and eventually landed him inside of the prison system.

So when I look at situations involving young men of color, I cannot help but think about the things that happen before the headlines.

The isolation.

The bullying.

The feeling of being unwelcome.

The subtle messages that tell a child they don’t belong.

I am not minimizing the loss of life. A family is grieving, and that pain deserves acknowledgment and respect.

What I am saying is that sometimes we move our children into environments believing we are giving them greater opportunity, only to discover that access does not automatically equal acceptance.

Sometimes the greatest danger isn’t the neighborhood we left behind. Sometimes it’s the invisible wounds created when a child spends years feeling unseen, unsafe, or out of place.

No one carries protection unless there is a perceived need for protection.

That doesn’t excuse what happened. It doesn’t erase accountability. But if we truly want solutions, we have to be willing to ask what conditions existed long before the tragedy.

As parents, especially parents of children of color, these are conversations we must be willing to have.

Not because accountability doesn’t matter.

But because understanding how children arrive at certain moments matters too. My heart and prayers got out to both families for their loss 🙏🏽❤️.

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Source: Valarie's culturally fluent group on Facebook

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A Black Mother on the verdict