Jul '24 (edited) • Quotes-Excepts-Concepts-Oh My!
a n d ≠/> BUT😉
Hello Members,
Today’s Quote is from the book How To Win Friends and Influence People.
“
Simply changing one three-letter word can often spell the difference between failure and success in changing people without giving offense or arousing resentment.
Many people begin their criticism with sincere pies, followed by the word “but” and ending with a critical statement. For example, in trying to change a child’s careless attitude towards studies, we might say, “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better.”
In this case, Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard the word “but.” He might then question the sincerity of the original praise. To him, the praise seemed only to be a contrived lead-in to a critical inference of failure. Credibility would be strained, and we probably would not achieve our objectives of changing Johnnie’s attitude towards his studies.
This could be easily overcome by changing the word “but” to “and.” “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious effort next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.”
Now, Johnnie would accept the praise because there was no follow-up of an inference of failure. We have called his attention to the behavior. We wish to change indirectly, and the chances are he will try to live up to our expectations.
“
-Dale Carnegie
Analysis:
Body language no doubt has some effect on our relationships. But the words you use along with attitude can go a long way. Finding ways to make people feel positively about what they have done is a good way to build healthy positive relationships having others’ good will on your side.
Thanks for reading with me, don’t forget to get your pages in today!
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