Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. In order to gain that you must realise that your bad outcomes are simply caused by your bad inputs. You keep being arogant and thinking that others don’t realise how great you are and you keep dreaming of this saviour. You then look into things and realise that you need God in order to be saved and you start praying and things actually get worse and you start questioning everything and believing in nothing. And then you hit rock bottom. And that’s when you put your head down and you gain wisdom. That’s when you start understanding that your lack of value was simply you avoiding work, that you complaining about others was you looking for a saviour, that all your bad circumstances and confusion were there only because of the lies that you told yourself, and in doing so you started surrounding yourself with liars. Lies will always bring confusion, which will always leave you looking for answers. Put your head down and get to work.