https://youtube.com/shorts/wG676hWFKDI?si=neFUmtFYKgHJxBsM

You are doing amazing mom 💖 Mom guilt will always try to find something. If it’s not this… it’ll be something else. That’s what happens when you love deeply, but guilt is not proof you’re failing, it’s proof you care. You don’t have to earn your worth as a mother by running yourself into the ground, you’re allowed to grow, you’re allowed to build something for yourself, you’re allowed to take up space in your own life too. Specially as your kids grow... Your kids don’t need all of you exhausted…they need you present, human, and real. You’re doing better than you think. Welcome to my 7 am thoughts while kids are still asleep ( the only quiet time I have to speak on camera) ✨ What’s been weighing on your heart lately?

Motherhood doesn’t look the way I thought it would… not even close, especially in the first 5 years... It looked like being exhausted , wanting to scream, and still showing up, but also having days where it was incredibly fun and rewarding and feeling blessed every day that I am the ones raising my babies despite my circumstances. It also looked like messy mornings, big emotions, and days where I questioned everything and wanted to run away but couldn't... ( So I would call my mom in the middle of a meltdown, and she would just listen but not know what to do from the other side of the ocean, also because she never was in my shoes, she had a village). It looked like raising kids while also re-parenting parts of myself I didn’t even know needed love and realizing I was chosen to be their mom and break generational trauma and curses... and I killed it 💪 and my past prepared me for it by making me resilience... But no one sees most of it, the 3am wake-ups, the moments I lose my patience and immediately wish I could take it back. The quiet guilt… or the deep, deep love that lives underneath it all and the gratitude for raising these babies full time and again be the one actually raising them... Your kids don’t need You perfect , they need You real. They need to see that we can mess up… and come back. That we can feel overwhelmed… and still choose connection. That we can apologize, repair, and try again. Because that’s what they’ll carry into their own lives. Gentle parenting isn’t about being calm all the time, it’s about being honest, it’s about taking accountability, it's about holding strong boundaries, it’s about returning , over and over again. Some days, present mothering looks like patience and play, other days it looks like survival, a deep breath, and choosing not to give up on the connection and all of it is ok and valid. What does present mothering look like for you on the hard days? Save this for the days you feel like you’re failing… because those are usually the days that matter the most.

There's a word for what you're going through. Matrescence , is the psychological, physical, and spiritual transformation of becoming a mother. Just like adolescence, it can feel like: → You don't recognize yourself in the mirror → Your relationships feel different → Your values and priorities are shifting → You feel joy and grief simultaneously → You wonder who you are now This is not postpartum depression. This is not ingratitude. This is a developmental stage that science has barely begun to study , and society almost entirely ignores. You are not losing yourself , you are outgrowing a version of yourself that could no longer hold who you're becoming. That's terrifying and beautiful at the same time. Did you feel like you disappeared after becoming a mom? I want to hear your story. Mafalda Oliveira ( Anami Roots )