A lot of us carried our hardened hearts into our awakening , whether it is the result of a trauma response or the adoption of negative beliefs and patterns of thinking, we are disconnecting from the higher possibilities that reality can offer to us. In response to trauma, danger and stress, the heart hardens as scripture says (Scientifically, there is a energy wall built) , this prevents our ability to feel love, to feel safe, and to connect to others in a meaningful way. When you find yourself questioning the purpose of life, living passionlessly, having low energy and feeling negative emotions like fear, anger, disappointment, depression, shame, unworthiness, among other negative states of cyclical or reactionary thinking and feeling, you most likely have a hardened heart. Deep within our subconscious minds, we are storing a significant amount of information from our past, both from our past experiences and the experiences we have had or that we have observed others experience, and as a result, our behaviors and mental programming has affected us in ways that we have not fully realised until we have begun the process of introspection through self awareness of our thoughts, emotions and beliefs. It is the moment that you choose to go beyond your conditioned state of being into a new, elevated state that becomes aware of the old way of thinking that you will become more like your true self and less like the personality that is the product of the environment. Ezekiel 36:26–27 “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. A stony heart = hardened, resistant, emotionally numb. A heart of flesh = responsive, living, sensitive, teachable. A clear sign of a heart of flesh is how well you are at GIVING & RECEIVING, Love , help, compliments, compassion, generosity, mercy and the list goes on. A hardened heart is restricted whereas a living heart FLOWS!

I have recently realized how much fear of rejection ruins my thought patterns, my perception and my self-esteem. I have been trying to identify the root of it, but the thing is, I have very little Memory of my childhood! As an adult, I faced rejection from my first husband. When our child was born, and my eyes were opened to the miracle that is motherhood/birth, I wanted to change my whole life. I wanted to quit working as a teacher, find a way to stay home with her and work from home. This was basically the beginning do my walk with The Most High. Now, when he saw I changed so much, he didn’t like it. “You’re an unhealthy kind of mother, why do you want to be with her all day every day? Why breastfeed when you can do other things?”. Well he eventually kicked me and her out, we had to leave Brooklyn and move back into my childhood home with my parents. He later filed paperwork on me, accusing me of kidnapping our child, dragged me through court. I hate to even say all this because it sounds like victim Olympics 😂 bc I do see this as Yahs way of getting us out of there. There are more details, none that matter. But this fear of rejection continues. Now, with friendships and my family even, my fear of enduring that kind of rejection again keeps me stuck in a lot of ways. Even with trying to step into my calling as a baker, I am literally paralyzed sometimes by the fear of “what if they don’t like what I made? What if I disappoint them?”. With friends, it’s “once they find out who I serve, they’ll turn against me so I’d better not be too open or I’ll get hurt”. Even typing this brings tears. I have to work hard at reminding myself that the only one who matters at the end of it is Yah, The Most High. And His approval is what I am seeking. “Well done good and faithful servant”. So I work hard each day to fight in the spirit, asking Him to renew my spirit, give me the courage of Daniel and Kaleb and all the many examples of scripture. I know that rejection is something most of us deal with and o think bc I have dealt with it for so long now, I thought it was “ok” with it. The truth is, operating from this place of being so scared of rejection puts me at risk for making choices based off EMOTIONS. And that has never served me well. So this is my new goal: to really rebuke this fear of rejection. It sounds so silly and small when I type it all out. But I’ve written and erased before, I’m going to face my fear of rejection *right now* and post this! Even though im afraid of the judgement and rejection I may get from you all! If I don’t fight “it”, “it” will win. Shabbat shalom my brothers and sisters 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿 all the glory and all the esteem to our Creator our One Most High El, Yahuah my Abba 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🤎🤎🤎🤎

So I’ve been working out and in a good routine lately… one day I woke up and this is how the convo went between my flesh and my spirit: Flesh: I think I could do something different today, I’ve been consistent in working out that other way. Spirit: Nah, just do it, stay consistent Flesh: but, I’m still active just changing things up- let’s walk to the 4 way- that felt good last time. Spirit: nope let’s just do what we been doing because once you do that you’re going to keep pushing the needle and stop all together… Flesh: You really feel like running? We can just walk but for longer Spirit: Alright, now you're just procrastinating, just do both, first the regular workout then the walk 🙃 since you want to walk so bad… Flesh: ughh, okay. So long story short, I did my regular Workout and I’d be darn if I was about to walk that 2 miles after. Task completed ✔️ I haven’t negotiated with myself again after that so that’s a win because now I’ll “ just do both” my way into being consistent 😅 when the flesh thinks it could argue with me all day. “Judge me, O LORD; for I have walked in mine integrity: I have trusted also in the LORD; therefore I shall not slide. Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; Try my reins and my heart.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭26‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭KJV‬‬m https://bible.com/bible/1/psa.26.1-2.KJV

"Writing, Speaking, and Teaching" is my common denominator. 1. What I love is studying people, ideas, and languages and discussing the principles and overlap in each one. 2. What the world needs is to see how things are connected to have a better understanding to avoid being taken by the foolishness of group think and shallow understanding. 3. What I can be paid for is teaching the languages that I speak and also teaching English to non speakers. I can also be paid for my ideas that are shared through my platforms such as podcasts and social media promotions. 4. What I'm good at is understanding systems such as sociology and linguistics. Though I am already monetizing my gifts through language teaching, my long term goal is to prune the my gift of writing and thought sharing. This has pushed me to begin a podcast and newsletter that does exactly that. I've noticed that at these beginning stages of my entrepreneurial life there is a strong temptation to become complacent and discourage. I aim to fight this through consistent seeking of wisdom and understanding empowered through the discipline of mindfulness and meditation.

I’ve created a full video for you in the PRINCIPLE LIBRARY detailing the basics of meditation! We will learn ⬇️ 1.WHY YOU NEED MEDITATION 2.WHAT IS MEDITATION 3.HOW TO / WHERE TO START WITH MEDITATION I know you’ve been waiting on this one ! I’m excited for you all to tune in as it is a FOUNDATIONAL lesson to be able to steward the inner man/ woman ! 🔥 DIVE IN! 👀