Apparently I do.

I have chosen to honor someone that is no longer with us. However, he is the person that taught me to be comfortable with being the quirky weirdo that I still am to this day. I wish I could have written about my father, but he was never emotionally open, and I don’t blame him for it, he provided me everything I ever needed, we just weren’t a openly talk about your feelings and get deep. So instead I choose to honor my Uncle Christopher who sadly passed away 5 years ago from a sudden heart attack while out on a walk. The attributes that I honor about him is always finding that silver lining, no matter the situation he would find a way to make people laugh. He truly believed whether it was laughing at yourself, a joke or an over the top exaggerated movement, that it brought joy and happiness to those around him. He did it with total confidence because he knew exactly who he was and was comfortable in his own skin. And that last one is something I’m still working on when I’m in unfamiliar situations or with people that I don’t know that well. Christopher inspired me to embrace my quirkiness, my parents were not the type to do that. Used to tell me to knock stuff off that they thought was weird. They had a vision for who I should be and how I should be have. But not Christopher, he used to tell me that it was those things that made me, me. It’s inspired me to do that with my own children. Yeah my kids do weird things that make me question their thought process, or why the thought it was a good idea, but I always remember it’s their way of figuring out who they are and instead of reacting the way my parents used to with me, I encourage them to do things their own. The biggest lessons that I learned from him was that as long as what I’m doing makes sense to me, it doesn’t matter how weird or different it is, so long as it makes me happy it doesn’t matter what others think. The only weakness I ever saw in him, was even when he was right he would sometimes concede just to avoid a conflict or because he felt that it wasn’t worth the hassle. I wish he would have stood his ground more. While he may no longer be with me in the physical sense, he will always continue to affect my life because he gave me so many building blocks in my youth and on days that I’m upset or overwhelmed I will still talk to him as though he’s sitting in the room with me. There are times when I do that, that it feels as though I can hear him in my mind telling me to keep my chin up, and take it one step at a time. That it’s okay to falter. He also used to tell me it was okay for boys and men to cry. My dad was in the military and the only time you cried was when you were physically hurt and even then it better not be over something small. But Christopher, he taught me it was okay to let those emotions out because in his words “emotions are like farts, it’s better to let them out than to hold them in.” And as someone that has anxiety issues that has always stuck with me.

The footsteps are deliberate, yet intentional, as though not trying to creak any floorboards. My heart is racing and my breathing rapid and heavy as though I can’t catch it, my anxiety has kicked in as I realize I’m in a room I’ve never been in before. The clock now reads 7:54. But my wallet is gone, my phone is absent and I have no recall of how I got here. All I remember from the night before is leaving my house, the rest is a dark void. Filled with no memories, no clues. The footstep grow closer. My eyes dart around the room for anything I can use in my defense. The bedside clock last reads 7:55 before I pull it out from the wall, enough slack in my right hand to be able to swing it if needed but enough of the power cord in my left hand to an able to wrap around unknown footsteps neck to get answers if needed. They’re on the other side of the door and a voice sneaks in “Are you awake yet?” Unfamiliar, but calming and nerve racking at the the same time.i hold my breathe as the door knob begins to turn, unsure of who or what is entering the room.

@Hailey White I like it, the vanilla and lavender scent, a relaxing combination for the nose, but is it all part of something sinister to lull you into a false sense of security?

Favorite Book: To Kill a Mockingbird. I still read it at least once or twice a year. Book that changed your life: technically not a book in the sense of words on a page, but the X-men series I grew up reading, I was not a popular kid, I had my group of friends but comics made me feel like there was a pace for me in the world. Favorite author: Stephen King Favorite person in this world: Chris Hemsworth, I’m a huge Thor fan and he’s just a lovable guy Favorite word: Serendipitous What do you want out of joining this group? The confidence to start sharing my ideas, and to get out of my comfort zone, and to not worry about failing if my idea doesn’t land how I want it to