When convenience is king in family (whether it’s emotions, food, discipline of children, etc) health is an afterthought. True health isn’t convenient. It’s not comfortable. There may never be a convenient or comfortable time to start working on it. “I’ll start working on this once we are out of this season” is the mantra of one ruled by convenience. Every season has its excuses. It’s too hot, it’s too cold, it’s too windy, it’s too rainy, it’s too humid. All these are similar to: we are moving soon, we just moved, we are in sports, I don’t have the time right now, our finances need to change then we can. Embracing inconvenience and discomfort is what breaks the cycle and makes health the priority it deserves to be. After all, health makes every season not only more bearable, but gives us the ability to thrive through every one of them. And in reality, the families I’ve seen get the most breakthrough were the ones who started the work at the most inconvenient times.

We fully understood this and learned how to actually take responsibility for our triggers?

When emotions hit, we disconnect from our thinking brain, and actually lose 10-20 IQ points! And when we’re disconnected from our ability to think, we typically engage our habit brain. So when emotions hit hard, we fall back into whatever we’ve done consistently: Tone of voice Language Facial expressions Behaviors Etc Biblically, these habits are called “strongholds” and need to be broken (unless they are a stronghold of God). Processing emotions is not only important, but powerful to destroy those old ways of living. Have you ever seen this play out in your life and parenting?

I love dogs, and I’m allergic to them. We have 3 dogs. I love horses, and I’m allergic to them. We have a horse. My options are: avoid the dogs and horse that I love, so I can “protect myself” from runnny eyes and stuffy nose. Or I can engage them consciously. I choose to engage. I just know, as soon as I’ve pet them, fed them, or walked them, I need to go directly to the sink and wash my hands. By choosing to engage, I must be aware of what I need for hygiene. Hygiene keeps me healthy, not avoiding. We have the same options with family. We can avoid areas in order to “protect ourselves” from emotions that aren’t helpful. Or we can engage, hopefully learning what I call “emotional hygiene”. It’s us knowing what to do (and doing it) in order to not carry around anything in our hearts that could cause “stuffiness”. Unfortunately, many choose to avoid instead of engage. Many are afraid (which is already an emotion influencing behavior) of what can happen if they engage. Emotional hygiene is one of the greatest skills a family can relearn. I said relearn on purpose, because it’s instinctual in all of us. It allows us to fully engage without getting sick. It’s the emotional equivalent to going to the sink and washing our hands whenever necessary. And we spend a month relearning this in the section of the full course called “Processing Present Emotions”.

I know I'm late to the party, but that picture of blowing holes in the walls and letting Heaven out and hell in... so revelatory. I have been aware of the wounds it causes the family and the clean up and patching that needs to be done cleaning up the mess but ive never patched the walls of my house... Dang