Often times, people who engage in perfectionistic type thinking and behaviors indicate that they have high standards, are aiming for excellence, and indicate that they are committed to growth. These seem like great things and they can be, but the undercurrent of what drives these statements matters. Clinically speaking, perfectionism is often less about excellence and more about fear. Fear related to failure, criticism, disappointing others, of not being enough... Perfectionism is often an attempt to manage uncertainty and protect ourselves from painful emotions. The problem is that the strategies we use to avoid those feelings can end up creating more stress, anxiety, and disconnection. Below are some common perfectionistic behaviors: 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 Perfectionists often work harder than necessary to prevent mistakes or criticism. The underlying belief is often: "If I work hard enough, I can eliminate the possibility of failure." Unfortunately, no amount of effort can guarantee that. 𝐃𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 Many perfectionists struggle to hand tasks over to others in fear that things won't be done "correctly". This can create burnout, resentment, and the feeling that everything depends on them. The hidden cost: carrying responsibilities that were never meant to be carried alone. 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 "Do you think that was okay?" "Are you sure you're not upset with me?" "Can you check this one more time?" Seeking reassurance can temporarily reduce anxiety, but it often strengthens the belief that confidence must come from outside ourselves. (safety behavior that reduces anxiety in the short term but creates problems in the long term) 𝐄𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐎𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 Planning is super helpful, but perfectionism can turn planning into a way of avoiding uncertainty. Hours are spent creating the perfect schedule, researching every option, or organizing every detail before taking action. This type of planning can become a substitute for living. It can give the impression that progress is being made but no actual action is being taken.

So many women become experts at saying, "I'm okay." They smile through the meetings. They show up for their clients. They take care of their families. From the outside, everything looks normal. But underneath, they're carrying stress, grief, exhaustion, or emotions they've never given themselves permission to process. Healing doesn't happen because time passes. It happens when we create space to acknowledge what we're carrying instead of constantly trying to outrun it. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is admit that you're not okay. 🗨️: When was the last time you answered "How are you?" with complete honesty?

I just enrolled in a course I've been thinking about for ten years and then immediately had a small panic, because I haven't studied for an exam in over thirty years. Thirty years! There's something genuinely humbling about choosing to be a beginner again when you could just keep doing the thing you're already good at. But I keep coming back to this: growth doesn't have an expiration date. There's no age where you stop being allowed to want more for yourself. 💬: When's the last time you let yourself be a beginner at something? Tell me what it was and whether it scared you as much as this is scaring me.

Have you ever felt the paradox of checking off every single milestone on your to-do list, yet internally, you never quite arrive? In a culture that constantly demands forward-projection, our nervous systems are tightly wound in a loop of endless activity. We collect data, process stimuli, and plan the next horizon before the current experience has even had a chance to settle. This continuous acceleration creates a specific kind of exhaustion, which stems from a total loss of internal orientation. For a nervous system shaped by traumatic experiences, this chronic high-alert state is a deep survival strategy that keeps the body trapped in permanent sympathetic tension. The modern lifestyle functions as a restrictive trap across all areas of our lives, keeping the body in permanent sympathetic tension and cutting us off from our natural rhythms. The summer solstice offers a timeless psychophysiological fixpoint to interrupt this cycle. The word solstice, or solstitium, translates to "sun standing still," marking the precise moment the sun reaches its absolute zenith and halts its movement before changing direction. This astronomical phenomenon lasts for three full days, during which the sun appears to hover at the exact same height in the sky. Symbolically, these three days represent a dedicated cosmic window to let our achievements truly sink in, allowing the intensity of our experiences to echo, settle, and take root within our physical being before any outer movement resumes. Nature structures a deliberate phase of lingering, allowing what has grown to unfold and what has been achieved to stabilise. In trauma processing, this offers a gentle, spacious window for the nervous system to gradually notice that the immediate threat has passed, allowing the body to softly register a true sense of safety right down to the cellular level. This physical transition carries a far deeper significance that reaches far beyond a simple seasonal marker, serving as a profound template for human transformation. True stability clarifies itself when we grant the nervous system space to return to its natural baseline.

𝐃𝐀𝐘 1 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄: 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓 𝐀 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐓 Most of us move through our days on autopilot, noticing only what's familiar or immediately relevant. This scavenger hunt is designed to interrupt that pattern. By intentionally searching for specific objects, colors, shapes, textures, or experiences, you'll train your attention to pick up details that would normally go unnoticed. So...pick a goal and tell us what you've found! Super plus if you can take a picture! Some examples: - Something yellow - A heart shape - A reflection - Something older than you - Something handmade - A plant growing in an unexpected place - Observation-Focused - Evidence that a human was here - Evidence that an animal was here - Something that has changed over time - A pattern that repeats - Something you have passed by many times but never really noticed - Creative - Something that looks like a face - Something that reminds you of your childhood - Something that symbolizes hope - Something that represents resilience - Something beautiful that most people would overlook - An object that could inspire a story - Something that seems out of place - A "hidden treasure" in an ordinary setting - People & Community - An act of kindness - Evidence of creativity - Something that tells a story about your community - A sign of hard work - Something that makes you smile What were you on the lookout for today and what did you notice? Thanks to @Steve Webb and his group 30daychallengers for introducing me to the book The Art of Noticing. His community offers one live 30-day challenge every month. It provides a space where we can turn good intentions into action and each day there is a daily prompt/action related to the month's challenge. This month's challenge is 30 days of sunlight, movement, and remembering what the real world feels like. There's access to previous challenges as well and the community is great about support!