@Amy Eudaley you mentioned HOPE Coach- can you tell us what that is? @Catherine Hickem -Can you elaborate on responses for our journaling in Module 2.2 to address the "lies" we hear in our own voices about ourselves.

@Tracey Robison would you please reiterate the alternative response to “I did my best” you shared in the class. In addition to it being very triggering due to issues within my FOO (family of origin), my ACs have responded that it feels like excuse making and an unwillingness to take responsibility (dismissive) re the impact of my behaviors, and I cannot disagree with them. Thank you.

@Catherine Hickem I feel like I have to be very frank in my communication. I have done a significant amount of work around this topic over a number of years, and while I appreciate no longer carrying the weight of comparisons, self-judgment, and blame etc, this shift did not positively impact my relationship with people who benefited from me staying small, absorbing shame and blame, and going with their program. It created significant animosity towards me. Would I still do the work? Absolutely, because I choose my hard every single day, and that weight caused me physical illness amongst other things. In my experience, if/when we broach these self-healing skills, I believe it’s most beneficial to do so without any expectations of changed behavior of others we’re “hoping to impact”. There are so many variables we have absolutely no control over.

@Catherine Hickem - I am going to bare my soul here. I’m truly wondering as I’m moving through the PACT content if this program can address the complex issues within my family. I shared my concern with the onboarding individual I spoke with, and she assured me that it would. Firstly, I am separated from my spouse of 37 years due to a very unhealthy relationship I stayed with for religious reasons and was not able to leave until I was able to address religious trauma and deconstruct. My children experienced a very dysfunctional / unhealthy upbringing due to the religion. My “spouse” is very manipulative with my children, and I was labeled the “bad one” for leaving. Someone had to “stop the insanity” and chaos. I mentioned in the PACT call this evening that my daughter has been married to a Russian orphan for 15 years who has caused significant issues in our family dynamic over the years. We have shown him compassion and grace, and he has done nothing but take advantage of our kindness and patience. HIs own adopted family has not had contact with him for many years due to his behaviors. He has worked very hard to attempt to isolate our daughter from us and has had periods of success in doing so. I very much want to have a healthy relationship with her, and the request from her is “to let the past be the past”. This has been an ongoing pattern as his behavior patterns continue repeatedly, so “the past” consists of 15 years including recent events. He is resistant to treatment, and my daughter has to carry all the responsibilities, as he can’t hold a job and doesn’t work … staying home smoking weed and playing video games. She has stated off and on that she is going to divorce him and doesn’t follow through. She has done therapy and various healing modalities and continues to be manipulated by him. I have been estranged from my oldest son from a teen marriage for over 6 years now. He is an abusive man, and his children have suffered significant trauma. One of his children died due to his negligence. I have no confidence that my relationship with my grandchildren can be restored as he has turned my grandchildren who I once had a very close relationship with against my family.

My daughter is an attorney so argues for a living. :) I shared this with my daughter when I felt she was “case building” with me … aka “attacking” … It’s a post I saw that deeply resonated with me … "What My Silence Really Means" When I go quiet, it’s not because I’m fine. And it’s not because I’ve stopped caring either. It usually means I’ve reached a point where there’s nothing left to say that hasn’t already been said. I’ve tried talking. I’ve tried explaining. But when words don’t lead anywhere, silence feels easier. It’s not about giving up, it’s about realizing you can’t make someone understand what they don’t want to. My silence means I’m tired. Not the kind of tired that sleep fixes, the kind that comes from always defending myself or trying to be heard. After a while, you just stop trying. It also means I’m accepting things for what they are. Some people won’t change. Some situations won’t get better. And some endings are just meant to happen, even if you weren’t ready for them. These days, I don’t want to explain myself over and over. I don’t want to argue about things that should be simple. I just want peace, even if it means being misunderstood. So if you notice I’ve gone quiet, don’t take it as coldness. It’s not anger. It’s not attitude. It’s just me trying to protect my peace, to stop fighting things that only drain me. My silence doesn’t mean I’ve stopped feeling, it means I’m finally letting go of what hurts.