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3 contributions to The Connection Cafe
Stucco fell through our ceiling and all over our stuff. The 5 step process to navigate this will help you with boundaries, triggers, being present, calming busy mind and more
Definitely not my fave moment… but in EVERY challenge, the walk through is the same and eventually it just becomes engrained. Here is the 5 step formula and how I used it in this situation. The goal is not to elimate stress, but to shorten refractory period. To insert a circuit breaker between signal/stressful event + the story we create that keeps our body in survival mode. This allows us to get back to present time, connection and grounded choices efficiently. 1. Awareness - oh shit… stucco is coming through our cieling and all over our shoes… ZOOM OUT… this feels intense, not ideal with my schedule today, I’m feeling compressed and a bit like Why does this stuff keep happening (Victim mindset) - look at me going into victim mode 2. PAUSE - insert a tool. I did a 4 count inhale, 8 exhale with hum three times. 3. Choice- I can choose to let this ruin my day (sometimes I do and that would have been fully ok- to sit with it, feel it, rage and let it out - workout, scream into pillow etc) but in this moment I wanted to choose PEACE and EASE. I left it. I decided to ignore it for the moment, continue with my packed day and deal with it later and ultimately it would pass. 4. PRACTICE - reminded myself this is a practice, im not going for perfection and as long as I put the reps in (go through each of these steps) that I am doing the work and the work is working. It accumulates. 5. Integrate - took a few mins that evening to go over it in my mind. What was annoying about it, what thoughts came up (resentment, lack of communication with our crew etc) and to allow myself to feel it all, express it all and ask what did I learn. This literally took all of three minutes. THIS is how we do it ladies. This is TRUE self care. Self care needs a rebrand. It’s NOT something outside of us. It’s the ability to DOWNSHIFT our system and reconnect in ANY moment. Thats an inside job and thats what were all doing here. What is your latest “opportunity” (challenge) where you were able to use what you’ve learned here? I’d love to hear! Reminder, it didnt need to go perfectly… share the practice of getting better and better each time <3
Stucco fell through our ceiling and all over our stuff. The 5 step process to navigate this will help you with boundaries, triggers, being present, calming busy mind and more
2 likes • 4d
Yowza! You'd have heard more than a huff coming out of my frothing mouth! There'd have been a plethora of naughty words singing the airwaves! Here's hoping it's not as bad as it seems...still sucks though...😏 On that note, I'm getting better at diffusing it, just need to work on the lingering simmer that lingers on. In answer to your question, I'd say I'm getting better at saying what's on my mind, in aggravating moments, in real-time, rather than letting it just fester. For example, yesterday, I went to my not-so-annual gyno appointment, which I absolutely loathe! It started with them putting me in a room that is the absolute worst! Zero privacy when the door gets opened &, as you can imagine, that's just mortifying! The nurse didn't like my BP, always high no matter the doctor/dentist office. I explained; apparently, she didn't believe me & sent in another tech. I explained to her & she was like ok, no problem & walks out. Deep breaths. Now, for the-get-undressed & wait assignment as I tried desperately to strategically wrap & tuck the barely-there tissue paper around my body, so that when they fling the door open, I'm relatively covered...as I sat at the edge of the table, with my nervous sweat soaking in, making the already negligible wrappings precariously tenuous! Doctor, finally waltzes in...almost 20 minutes later, flinging the door wide open, with her assistant, slowly bringing up the rear. Now, I'm fuming, holding my tongue, simply to get the whole endeavor completed as quickly as possible. She does her thing & is done in a flash. Instead of actually saying she's finished, she just rolls her chair around between me & the door. Mind you, I'm now lying supine on the table, nurse opens door & goes out, my head twisted sideways as I'm trying to listen to the doctor, while my brain is like: Who is looking in? Is she finished or going to roll back to do something else? Once I get my bearings, I'm like the conversation appears to be a wrap up... In this moment I say, Okay, I'm just going to stop you here & say this right now, as I didn't the last time I was in (two-years ago)... First off, this room is a nightmare! There is zero privacy! There needs to be a curtain between me & that doorway, so that when someone walks in or out, there's some semblance of privacy & so everyone in the anteroom doesn't get a gander. The doctor, taken aback, slowly twisted around to get a look. Wide-eyed, on facing me, she agreed & apologized & thanked me for bringing it to her attention. I was not gracious, I said, "Yeah, well, the last time I was here, there was a custodian walking through the anteroom. Not cool! I should have said something then, but didn't." I then said, "I'm assuming you're finished with the exam so, if you're done with that, I'm sitting up now.". Her chin dropped & was like yes, of course. We finished the conversation, but I was shaken, so angry & frustrated.
Welcome to The Connection Code Cafe! Introduce yourself below!
Where are you from, and what’s your biggest challenge when it comes to downshifting your nervous system in real time so you can be fully present for the moments that matter?
2 likes • Jun 1
Hey😎 I'm a multi-generational Florida Native living in the Central Florida area, mother of two, & Grammie to four. My biggest challenge is me. I'm decades beyond the younger mom pushing through & getting it all done...did it all for over forty years. Now that I'm a retired educator...in the May 28th Masterclass, someone very-fittingly said "rewired", I feel even more overwhelmed than ever! Quite literally, I've all the time in the world & don't answer to anyone, but myself (& courtesy to husband of 43 years...46, if I throw in dating since we were seniors in high school).😉 Quiet house, no papers to grade, lessons to plan, meetings to schedule (aside from a multitude of doctors' appointments), no littles schedules to keep up with, or teenage attitudes to contend with... I feel like the load should be lighter, but it feels so much heavier. Chronic stress is no joke! I truly wish my younger self had had this information at her fingertips decades ago...game changer!
💛 Welcome to The Connection Code Café. Start here!
I’m so glad you’re here. Before you jump into the trainings, take a few minutes to watch the welcome video below. It will help you understand why this community exists and why so many women feel stuck—even when they’re doing everything “right.” You’ll discover: - Why self-care often isn’t working (and why it isn’t your fault) - Why your nervous system—not your willpower—is often the missing piece - How this community is different from another course or checklist - The best way to get the most out of everything inside Your first three steps: 1. Introduce yourself. Head to the Community tab and tell us your name, where you’re from, and what brought you here. Connection starts with being seen. 2. Explore the Classroom. Move through the trainings at your own pace. There is no finish line here—just small shifts that create big change over time. 3. Check the Calendar. Join us for upcoming live trainings and masterclasses so we can learn and grow together. Looking for more personalized support? Most members will find exactly what they need through this community, the trainings, and The Connection Code. But if you’ve gone through the content, started applying the tools, and you’re realizing you’d love personalized guidance to help you reconnect with yourself faster, I’d love to meet you. When you feel ready, you can apply for a Connection Clarity Call by messaging me. We’ll talk about where you are, where you want to be, and whether working together more closely is the right next step. There’s absolutely no rush. Start here. Let the work sink in. Trust your timing. 💛
💛 Welcome to The Connection Code Café.  Start here!
0 likes • Jun 1
Can't wait to get it all figured out...thanks for all that you've put into this.🥰
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Susan Besser
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@susan-besser-2236
Just a girl...needing to breathe

Active 4d ago
Joined Jun 1, 2026
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