My bad if this isn't in any kind of uniform sense, but Imma just start typing and keep this shit real right now. Fuck it! Soo, this last stretch, especially moving through weeks 3 and 4, felt mentally exhausting at times. It's not that I didn’t understand the work or did not want to do it. Nope. I was committed to the work. But IN doing the work, EVERYthing started coming up all at once. Trying to figure out what actually matters, what can wait, what needs to be done now, what needs to go completely, what I’ve been holding onto out of fear... all that! That stuff really stirred things up in my head and in my body. I can best sum it up as pressure. It came from realizing how bad I’ve been running on urgency and for such a long time and now I'm being asked to move differently. There was a real tug-of-war happening in my mind especially. It's like one side wanting to slow down, decide on things clearly and with more thought, and to build with more and better intention. Then on the other side, well, I'm panicking about time, money, legacy, and whether I’m doing enough for my family. I have spent years thinking, what if I die sooner than when I'm gonna die (whatever TF that shit means)? what will my kids have? what have I actually built? will I leave them a will or a bill (or many, many damn bills)? That thought has been the driving force behind a lot of my urgency, my overdoing, my overpush, my need to make everything work all at once—my business, my daughter’s business, the house, everything. All the while getting nothing, not one damn thing fully accomplished. I'll stop there. Ok, so What has shifted is this: I do feel calmer. I’m not as tight or wound up as I was. That panic isn’t running my whole day the way it used to, even though it still pops up, pretty much daily. I’m letting myself pause without immediately assuming I’m failing or letting my family down. I’m realizing I don’t have to force everything forward at the same time to prove I’m serious or capable, but that I will get things done in tima and at the right time and neither me nor my family will miss out on anything.

🏛️

We've scooted over, luv! Welcome iiiin, Architect!!!

I, Sharen Rodriguez, am officially resigning from operating in urgency while trying to create my business, and my daughter’s business, and maintaining my household all at once without structure. I recognize that my Governor time is for Construction and Governance, not scattered Maintenance. This task now belongs to clear decisions, shared responsibility, structure, and firm boundaries within the System.

She Readyyy!!