Well I currently find myself in a place where I never thought I’d ever be, darkness all around staring into the abyss trying on climb my way out and unfortunately being knocked down at every opportunity life has it just knocks me down and I start over. I guess I am here to stop the madness in I all and enjoy my life, become the best version of myself for my wife, family and friends who honestly deserve it more Han the man I am now. I’m not new to psychedelics and I have never had a bad experience, not once in 25 years. From my first experience being given lsd without my knowledge at 14( it really was an amazing and transformative experience even given the circumstances) luckily the person who dosed me was experienced and he gave a piece of advice right before blast off, he said “Sean, listen, you are gonna be good, actually if you just trust me you will be more than good you will have an experience that may be completely spiritual” not gonna lie I was kinda freaking out at his point. But he just stayed calm and old me the best advice I have ever heard before taking a dose” just go with it, whatever you see whatever you may be feeling or experiencing, just say yes, enjoy it. Go with the flow. And remember even if you start to feel or see something you don’t like or makes you uncomfortable just remember, it’s only a drug and it won’t last forever. Only the good stuff will stay with you” after that I stared looking at the trees, grass, road, houses, people, birds, I saw I all and how of it was all interconnected and was all woven together. I was hooked. But in a good way.

@Corbin Sellers full disclosure, opening up and being vulnerable is not at all in my wheel house so I appreciate you saying that. Not to be all doom and gloom it’s just with all the things being thrown at me I almost feel like I am being pulled into the coldest, darkest, abyss I have ever experienced and as each issue arises I am pulled farther under making it almost impossible for me to see a sliver of light. I do know that in any situation I try and find some good, and there is, it’s hard to see and possibly understand but there is some good. I have been under a doctors care for pain management for the better part of 15 years and I was tired of taking 540 opioid pain pills a month for my degenerative spinal disease. Thad how I ended up on here, the past 8 to 10 months I have been studying and learning everything I can about psychedelics and psychedelic therapy especially with using it to help with chronic pain. Immediately I was coming across really amazing info on how I could actually substitute the opioids for psychedelics. And that is where the problem lies, because as we all know unless you have a trust fund or live on an area that it is decriminalized then you are shit out of luck. That is the most ridiculous and frustrating part about this whole situation is I can go get in my car and drive o 6-7 different places in the United States walk into a store then just buy the medication I need. I tried to get my primary care to get me on expanded access through the fda, it allows the person to access medication that may be either in clinical trial or possibly even labeled as a scheduled 1. Since the doctors can not do anything but give me opioids I figured taking a mixture of different psychedelics would be way better for me than all the pain medication they had me taking.