Happy New Year, Community. I’m landing the fatherhood plane hot with my first entry of ’26. I stayed quiet over the holidays — not because I had nothing to say - my mind was with the fathers navigating shared parenting for the first time. If that’s you, this post is for you. Within the last 24 hours here in Columbus, Ohio, OH -- --, here the temperature dropped from the mid-50s to the low 20s with 40 + mph winds. I stayed inside and put on one last Christmas movie before calling it a season — "Joint Custody" on Prime. I thought I knew where it was going.I didn’t. Early in the film, this line hit me: “No family follows the same path. Every member of every family has their own unique adventure… Every Christmas memory has a story.” That’s the truth most men don’t get permission to say out loud. Our experience as fathers is subjective — and when we don’t talk about it, we suffer in silence. Guys hear the Kris voice in your head, "no matter suffering in silence." So I’ll go first. My First JCC (Joint Custody Christmas) Even now, as I write this, I can feel the energy still living in my body. If I were using my feelings wheel, sadness is at the center of this energy. My first JCC was spent in a Red Roof Inn with my two little guys. - Two beds.Chicken wings. Pizza. and guilth Disney Dad mode fully activated. When my boys fell asleep, I kept running back and forth to my car unloading gifts. I’d stop, pause, and just watch them sleep. In the middle of chaos, that moment always brought me peace. Early the next morning, they opened their gifts — electric football was the hit that year. Here’s the lesson I didn’t understand yet as a JCC newbie. When emotions are overwhelming, men make short-term decisions with long-term consequences. I didn’t need a hotel room.I needed support. The shame I felt caused me to stay stuck in rugged individualism — suffering quietly, feeling embarrasssed, thinking it's best to go at this alone. In hindsight, If I had reached out, leaned into the wisdom of the guys around me who done the JCC before - would have reminded me of the truth:

Hey Community, *Warning, I made this post prior to watching episode 3 & 4 of the Reckoning. Episodes 3 & 4 contains extremely strong sexual content, sexual violence and discussion of physical assault and is not necessary to complete the exercise in this post. I wanted to tap in before the weekend - I’m excited as this post is officially kicking off our very first deep-dive Case Study together and understanding principle 1 of my coaching program, "all behavior has a purpose" Here is a reminder. Two individuals become one couple. On this side requires selfishness, in a sense to dive-in, ask question, and ask for what else you need. There is too much on the line to stand on the side lines. My hopes and dreams is to help you along this journey. Like the Grinch, he did not know what he needed. A good coach helps the members of his team figure out what you need to identify and tackle to defeat the enemy, what I call the "troubled dance of connection" in your intimate relationship. That is the sole purpose of this community. As your coach, I will be exposing this community to strategies I have successfully used a dozens of times to help my guys take back and reclaim how they wanted to show up in their relationship. Diddy is The Canvas Now, let’s get real for a second. I know when you saw Diddy's name you probably felt that uncomfortable energy in your body. Please stick with me, I am going somewhere. Here is the thing, yes we are using Diddy—however, if you are going to benefit from this Case Study, I need you to put your personal feelings aside or you are going to miss the perspective. Caveat: When discussing the behaviors tied to the troubled dance or cycle of some of these men, I am in no way excusing, justifying, or attempting to explain away any behavior; it’s about learning attempting to unpack the origin of their troubled dance or cycle. As I take you into this documentary “The Reckoning” episodes1 & 2. (rated MA—contains strong sexual assault, violence, explicit language, so take care if these themes are triggering), we’re simply observing and adding language to how a public figure’s patterns can teach you about the dynamics of his“troubled dance," its impact on intimate partners, meaningful others and criminal behavior.

Like The Grinch, most of us were not taught how to resolve conflict. We act like the Grinch. The Grinch realized it wasn’t Christmas that triggered his cycle or dance of disconnection. “It was being alone” Hang out here & find out how to identify & stop your “troubled dance or cycle of disconnection” that pushes others away like the Grinch. *if you want to set up a 15min call to discuss working. 1-1 shoot me an email inside the community. Kris