What are the patterns between your mother and father ? How were relationships modeled growing up ? I love both my parents but my impression is that my mother was somewhat controlling and stubborn. My Father was a bit of a people pleaser that gave into my mother’s frame a lot. I learned that relationships seemed very tough and it involved what appeared to be the male giving up freedom. The Patterns Between me and my Mom. My Mom was an excellent mother and very on top of taking care of me. I became perhaps overly attached you might say. And somewhat of a Momma’s Boy growing up. Naturally I asserted my independence more but to a Hyper-Independence degree. The Patterns Between Me and my Dad My Dad was an excellent father also who went the extra mile to take care of me in a positive way. I was always afraid of him getting angry. I shielded myself from this by adopting a nice guy persona and often times walking on eggshells. Child - Meet the Inner Child I had to adapt to the Family System by being the Good Nice Boy that followed directions. The needs not met were having my own voice and feeling a sense of power and empowerment. Also feeling safe in social situations, I was terrified by rejection and paralyzed by fear. What role did I play in the family system ? I became a master of tuning to the emotions of others in an attempt to feel safe and control situations. This ability would blossom into a borderline psychic ability. I in the process lost my own frame and voice to a certain degree. I also would eventually become the fixer as well, using my intelligence and problem solving ability to control situations. Who did you have to be to obtain love and approval ? I felt like I had to be perfect, high achieving, hyper vigilant, and extremely tuned into my surroundings. I also had a sense of being in a box as well. I felt like I had to stay away from social situations in order to feel safe and protected. What emotions were I not allowed to feel ? I did not let myself feel the sense of fear and powerlessness associated with being abandoned. I felt like I had to put on a nice guy front in order to not feel that intense fear. The front is an attempt to cover up that fear.

A Core Event that Happened in my past I re experienced while I was at the Rythmia Life Advancement Center. I was very young and in the crib of my bedroom. I remember feeling powerless and very upset, like I could literally do nothing. I experienced this again during the Ayahuasca ceremony, a scary sense of powerlessness that was unbearable. This could be the core of the abandonment wound creating the feelings that I am avoiding experiencing. The Story I have told myself around this core event is that it actually means anything at all. The feeling of being powerless I held on to and projected out into different areas of my life. I created a nice guy pattern to control the feelings and opinions of others so I don’t have to feel this sense of powerlessness again. Reframing the Core Event: I simply was a very young child and knew nothing about the world. I felt powerless because I was young and did not know any better. I did not have the benefit of 39 years of life experience that I have now. I was actually an empowered eternal spirit underneath, simply choosing to have this life experience.

I have an abandonment wound that causes me to put up a wall and keep working on myself non stop, becoming a better man constantly in search of approval and validation. I want to feel a sense of power where I once felt incredibly powerless and abandoned. This is simply a reaction to that. It is similar to a nice guy / people pleasing pattern that wants to make myself happy by pleasing people and getting their validation. I am able to feel safe in this survival pattern. The avoidance of conflict to manage others emotions to keep them from leaving. What would love feel like if I didn’t have to earn it ? It would feel magnetic, wonderful, transcendent, otherworldly. And complete. The trick is to stay in this energy and attract the love.

Romantic Love and Dating - 7 Family - 9 Career/Passion - 9 Universe/Synchronicity - 9 Health/Body - 8 Friends/Social Circle - 8 What is Blocking you from Calibrating to the Highest Love Frequency ? I have taken a lot of action to solve this and come to the conclusion that it is linked to childhood patterns and energies. I am working on resolving them. Which areas do you intend on improving in the next 21 days ? I intend to heal these patterns so that my energy is more magnetic and I can attract love. My Intentions I intend to understand and heal childhood patterns and energy so I can attract love.