Darwynn McPherson & Family, My sincere condolences, I am praying for you and the family. Many Blessings, Regina B.

Confirming

Darwynn, Are you perhaps moving the Group call to next Thursday? Let me know, I am in.

@Keith McDowell Good seeing you Keith, hope all is well.

@Teanna Hairston, Welcome, I look forward to meeting you soon.

@Anneshirley Nyako, Great seeing you looking forward to the connection.

Darwynn, I hear the depth of what you’re saying and you’re right to bring outcomes into the conversation. Results don’t lie. But I want to expand that lens, because when we’re talking about dating “God’s way,” outcomes are not just external they are spiritual, internal, and generational. So the real question isn’t only: What am I attracting? It’s also: Who am I becoming in the process and does that reflect God’s design? Because alignment with God is not purely outcome-based in the worldly sense. It’s covenant-based. Let’s break this down clearly. First, identity comes before attraction. If I don’t know who I am in God, my values, my standards, my discipline, my purpose then what I attract will always be inconsistent. Not because God failed, but because I’m operating without clarity. Many people are dating from wounds, habits, or learned behavior, not identity. Second, we have to acknowledge how we got here. Our dating patterns don’t come out of nowhere. They are shaped by: - What we saw growing up - What was normalized in our family - What we tolerated emotionally - What we were never taught about love, commitment, and boundaries So if someone grew up around instability, lack of commitment, or unhealthy dynamics, those patterns often show up in dating, unless intentionally unlearned. Third, your current dating results are feedback, not just failure or success. If the outcomes don’t match your stated standards, then something is misaligned: - Either the standards are not truly being upheld - Or discernment is being overridden by emotion - Or healing hasn’t fully taken place That’s not condemnation that’s clarity. Fourth, God’s design for relationships is not casual, it’s intentional and covenant-driven.Yes, Scripture says “he who finds a wife finds a good thing,” but that “finding” is not random. It’s the result of: - Spiritual readiness - Emotional maturity - Discipline - Purpose alignment A man doesn’t just “find” a wife, he recognizes her because he is already positioned as a husband in character. The same applies to women, being aligned in identity, not just desire.

Darwynn, The standard framework for a positive outcome and or results for dating/relationships. Core Biblical Position (Clear, Not Philosophical) God is not abstract, He’s principle, pattern , outcome. - Alignment - produces consistent fruit - Discipline - produces visible order - Purpose - produces directional results If those are not showing up in dating, then: Something in belief, behavior, or selection is misaligned, therefore, I agreed with the final outcome. If alignment is real, you should see: - Consistency (not confusion) - Clarity (not mixed signals) - Progress (not repeated cycles Where Misalignment Usually Hides 1. Selection Error (Who You Choose) “Do not be unequally yoked…” — Second Epistle to the Corinthians 6:14 Reality: You can be aligned and still pick misaligned people. Outcome issue: You keep attracting or entertaining people who don’t meet your standard. Fix: - Raise filtering at the front door, not later 2. Pattern Repetition (What You Tolerate) “As a man thinks… so is he” — Book of Proverbs 23:7 Reality:Early exposure (how you were raised) creates relationship patterns Outcome issue: - Same type, different face - Same emotional cycle repeating Fix: - Identify your pattern (control, abandonment, inconsistency, overgiving, etc.) - Interrupt it intentionally 3. Standards vs. Enforcement Gap “Let your ‘Yes’ be yes…” — Epistle of James 5:12 Reality:Many people say standards but don’t enforce them. Outcome issue: - You accept behavior that contradicts what you say you want Fix: - Standards must have consequences, not just language 4. Discernment vs. Desire Conflict “The heart is deceitful…” — Book of Jeremiah 17:9 Reality:You can feel something strongly that is not aligned with God. Outcome issue: - You override red flags because of attraction or potential Fix: - Prioritize patterns over feelings What a Healthy Biblical Relationship Actually Produces Not theory; observable outputs: