It is quite easy to put the blame elsewhere or just see that there are reasons that things don't work out. I read a book b a Navy Seal called "Extreme Ownership". There were just no excuses. This Seal comander took responsibility for everything. Even when others are clearly at fault, we have the option to think "how can I respond to this situation". The big question, if I didn't have excuses, who would I be?

Often it can be that we want things to be easier or just not so bad. However, another, perhaps more helpful way of looking at things is if we can become better. Not only will we have more capacity, but also grow in self-concept. Share a small or large example of you working on becoming better?

A big welcome for @Relic Wessels from South Africa. Relic is his REAL name:) He is an (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) REBT specialist. You can ask him about it, but it is extremely effective behavior change stuff based in Modern Applied Psychology to improve lives. It works. He has worked with me, like these have also worked with me...Tina and Renée, and Jenny.

When my son arrived, I fainted, and now the Dr.s had TWO patients. Blood and me don't mix well. My son was my obstacle (or so I thought). He would do the OPPOSITE of what you asked him to do, until you gave up. Only over time, did he teach me (without telling me) that "I" was the obstacle. The way I wanted to control the world outside of me before controlling the world inside of me. What obstacle has taught you something important?

People often ask us questions and advice. When we tell them what to do and things don't work out, they blame us. Perhaps it is better to (unless it's an emergency or dangerous situation) turn things around and ask them questions to get them to come up with a good answer that they can mess up and learn from. At least then they can't blame you and learn that they have to take responsibility for their actions and there is a lot of value in "keeping" the power of making your own decisions. What would be good "open" (not yes or no questions) that you might ask if they came to you with a question about borrowing money at a large interest rate?