I am a child of God, and I have always been told I have an anointing. Raised in Christian household, baptized @8, turned atheist @18. Upon abusing pot, and reading conspiracies; I had a manic episode where I felt like I was dying. Felt a pentagram etched in my forehead. This started a long, uphill battle fighting depression, anxiety, work related abuse, nuances of “the grind” of capitalistic life. Recently, as in for the past 4 weeks I have been abusing Nitrous Oxide. I live close to an epicenter of college life, where we call it 5 Points. 24/7 Smoke shop sells this gas to college kids, and addicts like myself. Under the influence, it is a hard spiritual battle. I would praise God, listening to old Gospel hymns; specifically BB King’s Spirituals Album. The holy spirt is in that Record. Along with the serpent finding me through the most hated filled, filth of an album; Pantera’s The Great Southern Roadkill. Both of the albums have spiritual aspects to them. I would blare the song Floods, and felt the demonic. At first, I felt hot spit from the serpent on my face. Then the vision of a pentagram would align on my forehead, with my consciousness becoming a tornado; infinite (Similar to AI, multiple realities) My bottom of my feet would get hot, my temperature would rise, I would feel horns growing out my head, I’ve felt a spiritual being “turn my brain/consciousness backwards”. I used a Spirtbox PSB7-Pro during these sessions, which would show room temp, which rose up 2 degrees at its peak. Remember when I said I intially felt the pentagram etched when I was 18? I was convinced I was the antichrist. From the recent moments, it feels like either I have a duality; where I have the mark but I’m still able to be saved by the grace of God; or maybe I’m just mentally insane, but functional; playing my role in society. These are ramblings but I am reaching out for guidance. Prayers, this is ruining my relationships; but it’s almost the point. Similar to how Job was tested.

I full heartedly believe God lead me to this group for a reason, There's an interest in seeing the devil fail. To laugh in his face as he thinks he has my soul, but more importantly; to understand. I reached out to the lead singer of Pantera, as Dimebag darrell was sacrificed on stage after selling his soul. I want to understand that whole hate filled, demonic bound album, and find a way to show that God's living word, The Truth will always prevail to Philip Anselmo. Understanding the hate, the putrid, the filth; as Jesus would.