I hereby resign—fuck this job. I’ve been employed by Procrastination too damn long, clocking in at I’ll do it later, taking lunch breaks at maybe tomorrow, collecting overtime in excuses like avoidance came with benefits. My supervisor, Pita, keeps sliding deadlines across my desk, whispering, “Ou gen tan.” You have time. Girl, that lie has cost me years. I’ve been Employee of the Month, twelve months straight at doing absolutely nothing until panic becomes my project manager. Well, Mwen bouke. I’m tired. Tired of paying bills with unfinished business. Tired of letting dreams sit in Drafts while doubt gets promoted. So effective immediately, I’m returning my company keys, my badge marked LATER, and every excuse stored in my cubicle. Mwen pap tann ankò. I will not wait anymore. Tell Procrastination my position has been permanently filled by Discipline. And tell Tomorrow stop expecting me, because Today just hired me with full benefits. I hereby resign. Fuck this job. Mwen fini. I’m done. And for once, I mean right now.