Brothers, This morning with @Mike Rouzer @Mark Lee and @Jacob Rauscher was incredibly powerful. We opened the circle around the discussion of Right Of Passage and what it looks like in today's capitalistic "culture." Many cultures have a ceremonial ritual as a passage into adulthood which typically involves dissolving the ego. In my American human experience I've witnessed the opposite - Sweet 16 parties which seem to boost the ego and create competition. We discussed how each of us may have unknowingly gone through a right of passage which brought up a good point about the intentionality around the ceremony. This brought to mind the dangers of unintentional ceremony without preparation and integration. Ultimately the conversation lead to parenting; how important community is when raising a child and intentions behind bringing children into this world. I am really enjoying how our circle conversations have an organic flow. Lately it's been a single prompt that just rolls from there. Thank you brothers for showing up and being fully yourselves! AHO!

Men, this week we are meeting on Thursday morning at my place. 7-8:30 Please try to be on time. If you need to leave early just let me know before we get started. Looking forward to starting my day the most powerful way I know how! 💪🏼 1302 E St Clair St Parking is available at the school across the street.

Fast 48 hrs- June 30 @9pm- July 2 @ 10pm Wednesday : 21k steps; 0 cals 0 Protien 0 Carbs; 10 pages read; 2.5 min cold shower Thursday: 13,100 steps; 14 pages read; 772 cal- 153 g carbs 19g fat 11g protein; 2 min/3min plunges What did I learn about myself this week: I eat (graze) way more than I thought. The amount of times I opened my pantry or fridge on autopilot was astounding. I should probably add at least 500 calories everyday to what I thought I was eating. I also learned there is a dark place inside of me that I am terrified of reaching. I don’t know if it is fear of success or fear that I will realize my limitations and be fully seen for who I am and where I am. Again, this is around my BJJ practice. I really feel like if I can overcome giving up on myself mid fight, it will unlock a lot of hidden potential that I have. My biggest struggle: The cold plunge on Thursday. Was very surprised and disappointed in myself how I responded to the initial dip. It triggered that same fear that I get when rolling and I get in a bad position. I wanted to quit on myself because I couldn’t control my breathing and amygdala went crazy on me. I used to walk into a cryotherapy tank that was -138 degrees for 5 minutes and thought it would be similar- NOPE! I think this is going to be a key to me unlocking that part of my brain that wants to quit, it will also help me learn how to control my breathing when I get in a panicked state. What was the easiest: Steps and reading. I normally hit 10k+ steps without trying on any given day. Thursday on the last day of the fast, I struggled to move. I am upset about those numbers for Tuesday, but still hit goal. Personally, I am shooting for 20k steps or more each day. I like reading, so this is a nice reminder to do it everyday rather than act like I am treating myself by reading on a weekend or early morning. What I learned from my book (Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents): I have always struggled with this and am now understanding why. This line hit me right hard and hurt in a way: “People who lacked emotional engagement in childhood, men and women alike, often can’t believe that someone would want to have a relationship with them just because of who they are. They believe that if they want closeness, they much play a role that always puts the other person first.” I assume no one actually likes me, I am either “just a number to make things cheaper for everyone else”. “They don’t want me, they just want me to bring weed.” “ You were the last person they called to invite because they were probably afraid you would find out everyone else was invited.” Essentially, I have a fear that people are only acting like they like me to get something; they don't actually like Mike.

7/3 48 hour fast from 10pm June 30 through 10pm July 2. 7/1 Day one of fast Steps 12.3K Calories 0 Carbs 0 protein 0 Read 14 pages of Do Hard Things 7/2 Day two of fast. Fate ended at 10 pm. Steps 11.7K Cal 500 carbs 26 protein 47g Read 12 pages This is the first time I’ve counted macros. I’m interested in what I learn about myself during the month. Fasting during the heat was hard. I added more salt to my water then I’ve ever done during any fast. I noticed how often I would want to go buy a coffee. Giving up coffee has its challenges because I enjoy the flavor. I did drink some black and green tea. Reading was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I never liked reading because I was slow at it and my mind would wander. I listened to a lot of audiobooks while I drive. Now I want to go back through the books I’ve listened to and read them. I’ve learned from my book to listen to your body and toughness is not measured in how push yourself.