Prior to 2021, I felt like I was living the dream. I had a good, supportive husband, a house with my name on the title, a paid off car, a good job and good credit. Turns out that was all an illusion. My life drastically changed when my ex-husband decided he wanted to pursue a girl that wasn’t even in her 30s. What happened next? Damn what a journey it’s been. I almost totally destroyed myself in my grief. My weight on my hobbit-sized 5’4” frame shot up to 350 lbs. I used food, alcohol, and weed to fill a hole in my life that wasn’t physical. I was the unhealthiest I had ever been. One day? It all clicked for me that I was destroying myself in my sadness, and that I was meant to lose those things that made me think that I had a stable life. I felt the compulsion to change. And I did just that! I started to heavily workout. I started slow, with baby steps, doing water aerobics classes at the Y. Ma. Casie always praised me for being a “mermaid”. In May 2024, I took my fitness to the next level. I changed from Lizzie the dainty mermaid to Lizzie the built amphibian…frog? Is that what I am? A frog? Time will tell. I’m so grateful for this journey. Life seems to be getting better and better for me, even with its chaos. Don’t resist the compulsion to grow and change, friends.

I wanted to encourage authenticity so I emailed the help desk to ask about the use of profanity. It is allowed! I feel like a whole ass premium adult. Carry the fuck on.

I’ve spent a lot of time working third shift hours. Let me tell you, friends, that the nighttime is a magical place to be getting stuff done, and it is oddly peaceful. When we hit that thin-veiled time at 3 am, I can feel the spirits of those that have passed keeping me company. I really feel like I’m in my nocturnal era.

Man, I’ve lived different lives. I’ve been: a classical musician, a karaoke rock star, a runner, a bicyclist, a wife, a data entry professional (for the usps), a soap maker, a wordsmith, a mathematician, an advocate, and a teacher. I am now in my mermaid, my cat loving, my powerlifting, and my gaming era. I’m not a teacher anymore - I work as care staff at a psychiatric treatment group home for teenagers now. The odd irony that exists inside my brain is this: change actually terrifies me, or at least that’s how I was before the 2020s hit. The theme of my roaring 20s has been massive and almost catastrophic changes. I got divorced from a long time partner in 2022 and I lost a long time job of mine in June. The way I see it? Things that were meant for me would stay in my life. Those that I’ve outgrown are forced out whether I want them there or not. And that change, that powerful powerful change? Shiiii…it’s helped me GROW when I used to be a shell of myself! It’s nice to meet everyone. I am the wordsmith.

What drives me absolutely batsh*t bonkers about this society is the absolute pressure to conform to social conventions to buy, buy, buy all this stuff we don’t need. I think that American society has a prevalence of mental health issues because of that pressure to conform. My mental health status skyrocketed when I stopped caring so much about things that don’t actually matter and started truly showing up for myself in everything that I do. So what does a multi-faceted wordsmith say to the idea of that pressure? She says pfffffft. Pic of my chatty feral kitty and my 120 lb deadlift for attention.