If you noticed something that tends to happen right before the difficult moment, try changing that part instead of waiting for the behavior and reacting afterward. The goal is not to control the person. It is to change one condition around the moment.

What looks like stubbornness, laziness, manipulation, or refusal may actually come from brain changes that affect initiation, sequencing, memory, insight, fear, processing speed, or loss of control. That gives you much more room.

This week, I'd like to invite you to try something that has changed the way I practice as an occupational therapist. For one day, let go of words like stubborn, lazy, manipulative, or difficult. Instead, simply observe. What do you see? What changed in the environment? What might your loved one be experiencing? Sometimes the smallest shift in perspective opens the door to our biggest breakthroughs.

Be a Curious Observer helps caregivers look beyond the behavior and notice what may be happening underneath it. In this first episode, we explore how slowing down, watching for patterns, and asking better questions can help you respond with more understanding and often uncover a practical change that makes life easier for everyone.

Premier episode: what's going on in the brain that makes dementia caregiving different.