Prayers needed. My husband filed for divorce 🙏🏽
Ladies, my heart is so heavy this evening. The pain and grief comes in waves, but tonight it feels like a tsunami. Especially for my 3 year old baby girl. My husband is a good man. The enemy is using his major traumas to torment him with addiction to alcohol, substances, lust/pornography, adultery, anger, etc., and the devil is trying so desperately to steal the kind, generous, loving husband and father that I once knew. For eight months, we had been trying to do the work of reconciliation while living separately. (I am a stay at home mother with our 3 year old daughter living in our home, while he is living with his dad.) Along the way, there were ups of transparency and work, and then somewhere along the way we dipped down again with secrecy and lack of accountability. Which caused me to also spiral on my end with not feeling safe and no trust. Putting me back to square one of snooping and questioning. I finally had to draw a line in the sand, letting my husband know that I am willing to fight for our family with him as long as he is willing to commit to getting the help that is needed, but only if he was willing to. But if he wasn’t, then I would respect his decision and let him go, because my nervous system couldn’t handle it anymore. After a couple of weeks of thinking about it, he chose to file for a divorce last week. My heart is in pieces, because my biggest desire is for my husband to not go through with this divorce, and finally go to a recovery program and heal his traumas for not just himself, but our daughter and our family. I love this man so much, but I love Jesus more. And I am standing in the gap for my husband and praying he will soon fall to his knees in repentance and make Jesus the love of his life. I want to see my husband in heaven. I know there is power in prayer, and this is why I am here posting this. I would love prayer and support during this horrific time in my life. Especially for my daughter. My heart agonizes for her the most. And as I am raising her alone right now, being the best mother I can be is currently a struggle. She deserves so much more of a fight for a healed and happy family. She loves her father so much. My heart is just shattered. We need a miracle.