Today was more of an open discussion. Thank you to everyone who participated! Thank you @Lukas Brose for throwing yourself in the centre.

6 months ago I came to @Holly Achaya completely depressed, defeated, and desperately seeking help. I had been 11 years into an everyday, wake and bake cannabis addiction. I had tried to stop multiple times, gone to rehab multiple times, been arrested for trafficking cannabis, and lost so much opportunity and relationships with others and with myself. She invited me to visit her in Guatemala. I went for 10 days. During that time I detoxed, ate healthy food, journaled, and talked with Holly about the goals I had and the type of life I wanted. She recommended me to different experts and ceremonies in her community around Lake Atitlan that would help me prepare. I did her self analysis and also went through a hypnosis session so that she could create the report on my inner world. We went thru the report in person over cacao where i finally was able to see my big stories of “I’m inherently a bad person” and “with success come punishment” and how deeply they were affecting every aspect of my life and keeping me stuck in addiction. Holly helped me find some friends to do a two day ayahuasca ceremony with, and given that we had just spent all of that time recognizing my core wounds, it was like going into the ceremony with a map and a plan of action. I experienced multiple somatic releases that were specifically directed at the wounds Holly exposed. I felt fundamentally changed. Today I am celebrating my 6 month anniversary free from Cannabis. Everything has changed. I believe in myself. During our time together, I told Holly that there was this musician i worked with but wanted to be closer to. She encouraged me to send a message. That message led to the three month touring contract I’m currently on, getting paid more than ever and growing faster than I’ve seen in years. I’m living the best life that I have in years, and I can’t thank @Holly Achaya enough for everything she’s done. She told me recently that she was going to start offering that people do a similar experience that I did, visiting her in Guatemala and really spending the time unpacking with people in person, for a probably an expensive fee. IDK if she’s offering that yet but if you get the chance to DO IT. @Holly Achaya is a master at her craft of healing and helping humans. She really really really cares about this stuff and is one of the most generous souls I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. THANK YOU HOLLY YOU CHANGED MY LIFE.

For those of you who have been on calls with me you know I’m a mom of 3. This week my youngest has been suffering from a migraine. We did all the things but it persisted. This morning we did some heart work and she had a gentle cry. After, I gave her a coloring book and asked her to color a picture with her pain. I ran to the store & came back to this - she DREW IT OUT instead and basically did her own parts work and limiting belief discovery. 🥹😻 Sometimes they know so much more because they don’t have all the life experience we do.

Okay so lots of questions with the call and things I’m brushing up against. I can comprehend the idea that when you look at reality - there is the witness and what is being observed therefore - duality. But does non dualism = non existence? If love is real and therefore life is real - where does life go when there is nothing to observe or no observer? When you go beyond that as God - where is life? Life is real and love does not exist separate from life.. I imagine life wanting to be expressed infinitely like its piercing through with so much love because it wants to be expressed / experienced.. so my question is - does non-dualism = nothing A part of me feels like even that is thinking in terms of non dualism because that’s going from thinking there is everything and so non dualism must mean there is nothing but what if non dualism can exist within the integration of the two.. like reality as an illusion becomes alive because it is - and what if waking up to non dualism doesn’t erase form - it eases the idea that life and matter aren't actually the same sentient being that we all are and that we are fully connected to it. I think where I get stuck is I still feel like there is something beyond this .. like we wake up out of the illusion of separation which is essentially complete disconnection from life itself (which is also us) for it to dissolve into nothingness? … but what if what happens is that non dualism is something that opens within us and therefore reality becomes something we are so beyond connected to that we can’t even comprehend what that would be like because we have only known form to be separate. I see humanity in all its pain and suffering over all the years of living in separation but within all of that pain and suffering there is also so much beauty - life humanity earth is beautiful.. it doesn’t make sense to me that we would return to god for all of that to dissolve? I understand it’s an “illusion” but does illusion mean nothing or does it mean distortion ? Like distortion meaning there is no single thing (no thing)

Mid week with no calls and a lot moving in everyone’s lives! How are you feeling today? What are your wins? Where are you struggling? How are you taking care of yourself? 🫶🏻