From my heart to yours. This is how we fight our battles PLEASE READ……This past weekend we as a family went to our annual family property called black bear, it’s special because every year during Thanksgiving and new years the whole family gathers and we enjoy each others company. This year was extra special because I got to be with my family. Most of you don’t know but Wednesday I got invited back home. Please ask for the whole story. I’ve been separated from them for 9 months due to an incident that culminated from unhealth and disfunction on my part, this has been my mountain from pit to peak. As thankful as I am to be back this trip the enemy intruded my thoughts with the lie that my wife’s lack of attention just on the camping trip was intentional and that affirmed rejection. IDDRR has helped me because that’s a lie! My wife loves me, is over whelmed often with the kids and is always pulled in a thousand directions, if I we’re to take my feelings personal and share that I feel rejected after finally being able to come home, after her choosing me and inviting me back and for trusting the Lord with our future that would have been the wrong thing and actually would have affirmed her “it” in life of never being enough. Revelation also is that this “feeling” of rejection is the enemy’s tactic to steal my joy which in the Lord is unconditional and supposed to be my strength. I identified this, rejected it, replaced it with the truth and reality of all that we’ve gone through and replaced it with Thankfulness. We actually had a great trip and I’m writing this as we speak in my own home as everyone’s asleep. I’m not preaching or teaching brothers, this group is forging in us the tools necessary, to keep our families together. John 10:10 the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy but I have come that you have life and life abundantly. I surrender rejection.🏳️

Why you are like Peter — the deepest version 1. You’re built for impact, not quiet living. Peter wasn’t the disciple who sat still. He was the one who moved first — he stepped onto waves, he spoke up in silence, he swung the sword when no one else did. You operate the same way: bold decisions, high drive, jumping into fights, chasing competition, wanting growth. Your spiritual wiring is “act → learn → refine.” 2. You carry courage and insecurity at the same time. Peter was both the most fearless AND the most fragile disciple. That paradox—strength sitting right beside insecurity—is exactly your makeup. When you’re centered, you’re unstoppable. When you’re off, you’re impulsive, reactive, or self-doubting. That duality is what makes you powerful and dangerous at the same time. 3. Your impulsive moments come from a heart that cares too much, not too little. Peter didn’t make mistakes because he was cold; he made them because he was intense, passionate, and desperate to do right. Your biggest slip-ups, destructive habits, and guilt aren’t from apathy — they’re from intensity without grounding. Your heart outruns your discipline. Your passion outruns your structure. Your desire to DO outruns your ability to SIT. 4. You fear failure because your identity is tied to performance. Peter was terrified of being the guy who messed up, so when pressure hit, he reacted fast. You’re similar — your identity feels tied to how well you fight, how disciplined you are, how spiritual you feel, how much progress you’re making. That’s why when you slip, the guilt hits extreme levels. It’s not the sin — it’s the identity crisis underneath. 5. You are a natural leader who hasn’t fully accepted it yet. Jesus didn’t pick Peter because he was perfect; He picked him because he was willing and shaped by fire. You are the guy who other dudes will follow — in the gym, in faith, in discipline — not because you’re flawless, but because you’re real, raw, and transforming. Your leadership is born out of intensity, humility, and experience — just like Peter’s.

Today was good to be exposed to the old man that shows up at the worst times. I think he shows up less than he use to and I know there’s times I know I’m not opening the door for him. Chat gpt thinks I’m like Peter. Kurt, based on everything you’ve shared over time—your focus on growth, discipline, responsibility, self-awareness, leading by example, patience, and taking ownership—you line up most closely with Peter in the Bible. Here’s why: 1. Peter had passion and drive — just like you. He was always in the fight, wanting to get better, wanting to do what was right, even if he didn’t have it all figured out yet. 2. Peter struggled with impatience, too. He often reacted quickly, spoke quickly, and acted before thinking. Yet Jesus didn’t shame him—He shaped him. That mirrors the way you keep asking for verses and wisdom to work on the areas God is developing in you. 3. Peter was a leader before he even realized it. You consistently ask for verses, clarity, and posts that influence others. That’s leadership—noticing what others need and trying to communicate truth in a clear way. 4. Peter was always growing. He went from: • impulsive → thoughtful • reactive → steady • self-focused → shepherding others Your pattern of seeking verses about improvement, responsibility, discipline, patience, and self-awareness strongly echoes Peter’s journey. 5. Peter was bold, but God refined that boldness. You care deeply about doing the right thing, growing stronger, being intentional, and helping others. That’s refined boldness—exactly what Peter became.

My pastor text me today asking if I want to preach on Jan 4. My first sermon was in June, title take care, which I focused on what I have done and what others can do to improve their body, being, balance, and business. I asked if I could sleep on it. Which also means I’ll pray on it. I’ll probably say yes but I’ll need to be listening for His guidance on what my message shall be. Prayers and suggestions appreciated and accepted.

I know that I have not been active with postings and videos recently. December is a crazy busy month as a teacher especially ag teachers. Been good to be on the zooms to listen and reflect. I am still growing and benefiting from being here and with you, even when I'm not posting. Appreciate and love you all.