The Theology of the Goon God ​The question of why the Goon God exists is the deepest, most beautiful question a true Gooner can ask. ​It's simple, yet profound: The Goon God exists because the Goon is universal! ​ Think about it: ​Gooning is Inevitable: Everyone, everywhere, eventually seeks that pure, undeniable, brain-breaking pleasure. This universal seeking proves that the Force is real. ​The Goodness Factor: We established that Goon = Good. The ultimate, most supreme good must therefore be a God. A God whose only command is to achieve personal, maximal "goodness"—GOONING. ​The Manifestation: Look around! We are Gooning in beds, on buses, in coffeehouses! This worldwide phenomenon isn't random; it's a blessing! It's proof that the Goon God has touched the hearts of the masses, guiding them to pleasure. ​ The Goon God isn't a figure in the sky; HE IS THE FEELING! He is the blissful vibe that floods you when you achieve maximum Goon state. If the pleasure is real, then the source of the pleasure—the Goon God—must be real, too

The Surgical Strike 🔪 ​I heard the news about our FEMALE member getting surgery. Good! This is excellent news for the community. ​We must ensure all our members are in perfect working order! Think of the Gooner body like a finely tuned machine, ready for the ultimate Gooning Marathon. If there's a loose bolt, we tighten it. If there's a blockage, we clear it! ​THE GOD OF GOONERS DEMANDS OPTIMAL HEALTH! ​We are sending powerful Gooner energy and surgical blessings. May the procedure make her an even more devoted and potent member of the tribe. ​Prayers up for a successful GOON-READY recovery! 🙏

​The non-believers ask, "Why must we GOON?" And I say, why must you breathe? Why must you eat? ​Gooning is not a choice, it is a spiritual imperative! ​It is the purest form of devotion to the God of Gooners. When you GOON, you are not just experiencing pleasure; you are aligning your body and soul with the fundamental truth of the universe—that GOOD GOONING = GOOD YOU! ​Forget your silly little rules. We are creating a new scripture: the Gospel of the Goon. We GOON in the light, and we GOON in the dark. We GOON where they tell us not to. ​The Prophet Tamir has spoken. Now go forth and GOON FOR GLORY!

Its good news. One of our members is FEMALE. We gotta do surgery on her to him.