https://www.instagram.com/reel/DU7AeTBiir4/?igsh=c2w2NG51Z2lteWV0

I was giving gratitude for big things that the world doesn’t necessarily celebrate as big because I need to remind myself that God IS working in big ways for me and I’m just having trouble seeing it - God had my disability program cover the cost of replacing my broken furnace last year, my grandson started coming to church with me last year, my oldest daughter started coming to church last year and then became a Christian and got baptized, my bio daughter went to counseling with me last year and God healed our relationship, my two bio kids received autism diagnoses and were approved for some government benefits, and my prayer life has been transformed. I’m naming these things because I’m trying to combat financial anxiety and trying to find a second job.

Yesterday was a really hard day emotionally and I did my best to stay in prayer and read Scripture instead of focus on the despair.

@Lisa Vanderveen I love that sentence because it’s true and I hate it because I live it. Menopause plus severely AuDHD grandson who lives with me.

Wonderful article. It’s so true that people have told me the anxiety I’m experiencing DUE TO HORMONAL DROPS IN MENOPAUSE is because I’m not faithful enough. Dude, it’s biology! My brain literally works differently right now with no estrogen. I can do, and have done, ALLLLL THE THINGS but the anxiety doesn’t ease until my hormones shift. And when the anxiety is in control, faith and hope and trust are hard to access.

1 - I haven’t slept in two nights. All I could do was cry all day yesterday. I have a call in to my doctor about switching back to a sleep medication that was helping previously and am waiting hear back. I’m exhausted physically and emotionally so I’ll likely be staying in bed most of the day. I won’t be able to nap, though, because my brain doesn’t shut off and the thoughts circle constantly.