The creative life of my dreams would mean being creative in multiple ways—art, dance, storytelling, myth, tarot—and letting each inform the other. More than that, each would work together to make a whole, creative life, one in which I respond to any situation with creativity. Looking through the lens of art, I would keep making art inspired by stories and myth. (Now that I’ve joined the Arcana Conservatory, I've also been thinking about what sort of tarot/oracle deck I might make.) I would share my art in local shows and maybe also sell it online, but I want the joy of making art to stay as the primary focus. I like to have an art project going, something tangible that I’m working on. As far as dance goes, I would like to keep joining my ecstatic dance community. For some, this type of dance might not get labeled as a creative practice because there’s no audience and no final product, but while I’m dancing I feel very much like I’m in a creative flow state. Another form of dance I’d like to continue is folk dance, particularly dancing for the changing seasons. Sometimes I make a new dance, and sometimes the creative practice comes in just dancing familiar steps. Making art or dancing is what I first think of when I think of a creative life, but the more I work with creativity, the more I realize I need to keep my concept of creativity very broad. Looking through the lens of storytelling and myth, I would like to keep learning stories and myths, practice telling them, and maybe find a way to share them more often. It's at this level where I begin to see how creativity is more of a life practice than a particular activity. Myth already informs my art, but the more I engage with it, the more it affects my life as a whole--it inspires me and shapes how I move through my day. Tarot is connected to myth for me, in terms of the web of meaning it holds, but I'm still sorting out how it fits in my life. Finally, I think about living a wholly creative life, which for me brings up ideas of resilience and a balance of inspiration and groundedness. I also think of living creatively in alchemical terms. To me, living alchemically means accepting that life will inevitably give me things I don't want, and it will be up to me to work with modes of transformation to generate the life I want out of what's been given. Art, myth, tarot, and dance are tools that I can use to open myself up to a more creative way of living in general.

1. As above: A sign from your highest spiritual purpose Page of Cups. Engaging with emotions and deep spiritual meaning with a sense of childlike wonder. Finding myself in conversation with it, like the page is with the fish. I’ve been working with a traditional story about a mermaid lately, and I’ve been really gripped by the ocean as this vast, open space that holds so much life and mystery within it. 2. The garden: The conditions that are best for your creative mastery Page of Wands. Engaging with the spark of creativity with a sense of childlike wonder (this is how I tend to read pages when I’m not sure what else it could mean). Being willing to go on an adventure and try new things, but also looking to my creative wand as a guidepost and not getting too distracted by the world. Looking for what is most alive. The desert is not my favorite place, so I can definitely see myself looking at the one piece of something green in my hand! 3. The table: Your unique approach that unites all of the different energies of your life VIII of Pentacles. Diligently practicing a craft. Letting the creative process be a meditation. Removing myself from the bustle of the world to get into creative flow, but also understanding that the creative process is meant to be shared, ultimately. As far as my art practice goes, I mainly make paper cuttings, so this figure looks like me, slowly working with my exacto knife. After writing about the creative life of my dreams, I’m surprised to see this card. I’ve been trying to open up my idea of creativity to include many versions of creativity, but this seems to point back to papercutting as a way to unite many energies. 4. So below: The work in the world that most aligns with your highest spiritual purpose The Chariot. This card feels more like how I approach work than the work itself… Working with discipline and confidence. Uniting opposites? Celebrating victory or mastery? I don’t feel like I understand this card very well!

I've been dreaming of making a little zine for over a year. I’ve made many drafts but have never committed to finishing it. I’ve made a zine before, but the idea for this zine has felt precious and hard to commit to. Yesterday, I sat down and made it. I really noticed how I used my time across the hour—I spent most of my time on the cover and the first few pages, and then I had to speed up significantly. It reminded me of a storytelling practice I use, where I try to tell the story in a minute, 2 minutes, and so on up to 5 minutes. Instead of time feeling like a constraint, it becomes another ingredient in the creative mix, and my use of it shifts how the work goes. I also noticed my attitude toward the materials I was using. In draft form, I use scratch paper and a pencil. Today, I got out beautiful paper and a nice pen. I felt a little mournful, thinking about how I was using my nice paper without any certainty about whether it would turn out well in the end. Having just worked with The Fool, I could feel that energy feeding into this creative process. There was a trust, an abandonment of the need for a certain outcome that the creative process needed to build on. I often line up my creative tools on my desk before I start and think of them as magician’s instruments. I think there are some tools that I would like to build more skill with. Throughout the whole process, I kept thinking, is this another draft or is this The Real Thing? I mostly let that thought go and just focused on making the zine as best as I could. When I sat in silence, I felt a lot of buzzing energy, and I enjoyed the way time moved more slowly again. I felt a mix of many feelings. Accomplishment for meeting my intention. Amusement that I’d been making this harder than I needed to. Disappointment that the thing I’d looked forward to making for so long was finished, and I’m not sure if I like it. Overall, it felt good to pause and honor the time that I’d spent more fully that I usually would.

1. The Bundle: The energy you bring when you are at your most fearless Justice At my most fearless, I’m balanced and harmonious, able to balance my own perspective with that of the larger whole. Poised but ready to act as needed. 2. The Rose: What life is trying to give you if you could really “let go” V of Wands If I could let go, life wants to give me a creative community. I would have to let go of my idea of peacefulness, though, because this group looks like they have many different ideas of what needs to happen, and there might be conflict and challenges along the way. I might also have to let go of the idea of community as a place where everything is figured out—this group is in process, probably just beginning. 3. The Cliff: The source of fear that secretly contains a gift Queen of Wands Intuition and charisma can feel scary when you don’t know where they will lead or when it feels like they are leading instead of you. The Queen of Wands has enough command to let these flow through her without being led astray. 4. The Ally: A source of joy that will comfort you in times of trouble VI of Wands Past victories in the realm of creativity. Letting my creative work be seen and remembering the feeling of celebrating it, regardless of what others might think.

If I knew I couldn’t fail, I would live my life with more trust and freedom. I already live with a fair amount of trust—I know that my callings continue to emerge, that already I’m accomplishing many beautiful things, and that whatever comes in the future will come only when I’m willing to take the next step. However, as I imagine how I would live if I knew I couldn’t fail, I can see that there are many ways in which I would live more fully into the life that calls me. What comes up first for me is that I would share my perspective in my creative projects more freely. I tend to keep my ideas to myself so that I don’t offend anyone. I also like nuance, and I worry that people will misunderstand what I’m trying to express. I could let go of these fears and trust my own voice and honor my unique perspective more fully. As I think about letting go of fears about how my creative work is received by others, I realize that I could trust myself more in relationships in general. If I knew I couldn’t fail to be surrounded by a supportive community, I would be truer to myself, and I would accept others for who they are. I would let things emerge in their own time. I would share my opinions more freely, not to try to convince anyone of my rightness but to open the possibility for deeper connection and belonging. I would let go of the habit of taking care of other’s feelings and honor their own sovereignty. I could also shift my relationship to myself and use my time more joyfully. I sometimes fear that I’ll choose to spend my time in an ultimately unhelpful way. Instead I would trust that I can only follow a passion or interest and see where it leads. I would trust that resting, choosing one activity over another, taking a longer time or shorter time—whatever I choose—is the right way to spend my time. On a related note, I would also trust the timing of my life more. I have many passions that I tend to, but they’re in an intermediate state where I’m learning how to share them with others. I would trust more that I’ll find opportunities to share when the timing is right, and I would focus more on taking each step without worrying about the bigger picture.