"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor Frankl Life is full of stimuli, things we didn't ask for and often can't control. But what separates a reactive life from an intentional life is the space between what happens to us, and how we choose to respond. That space is where our character is built.

Looking forward to chatting with you all! :) I so frequently think about something someone said in this group over the course of the weeks that follow.

Not to be morbid, but we had a good discussion about Eulogy's. I challenged the group to come up with 3 words they would like to be remembered by, at the end of their lives. "Kind" came up from everyone (except me 😂), Helpful, Loving, Good Friend, Integrity, Creative, Independent, Positive, Empathetic and Helpful were some others. Once you have your 3 words, look at your life today - are you living the way that will make people remember you by those 3 words? Are you being Kind, Positive, Helpful, and Empathetic? Is your integrity in check? How about a good friend? If you see areas where you could improve to become more of the person you hope to be remembered as, then let's do some course - correcting. Alternatively we also did a bit of a look back. In our younger years we may have felt differently about ourselves. Do some of these resonate with you? The woman who still believed she could save everyone. The man who thought hard work guaranteed the outcome. The mother whose children still needed her every day. The newlywed who thought love would solve everything. The dreamer who hadn't yet learned disappointment. The caregiver who hadn't yet learned boundaries. The achiever who measured her worth by productivity. (This one hits HARD for me) This exercise isn't about mourning youth, it's about releasing the thought that happiness lives there. Stop negotiating with the past and saying "What if" - but rather, "Now that I'm here, how do I want to live?" So write a eulogy to "old you" and say a final goodbye. In my own case, I don't need to keep searching for her. She became me.

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon

Today's Fireside topic was: Observe, Don't Absorb. As we talked about what that means in real life, one of us described it simply as "staying in my lane." Sometimes the challenge isn't knowing where the boundary is, it's having the courage to honor it. When we remind ourselves to stay in our lane, we're less likely to take responsibility for things that were never ours to carry, and more able to step back and simply observe what is happening around us. Several of us acknowledged that observing without absorbing is easier said than done. We care deeply about people. We see their struggles, their mistakes, their self-sabotage, and naturally want to help. But often, that desire to help pulls us right back into patterns of overextending ourselves, trying to fix problems that aren't ours to solve. One member shared that she'd love to hear from people who seem naturally gifted at not absorbing the emotions and choices of others. What wisdom do they have? How do they remain compassionate without becoming responsible? We also discussed the reality that when we begin setting healthier boundaries, the people around us may not immediately celebrate the change. In fact, they may push back. When others are accustomed to our rescuing, fixing, or carrying, stepping out of that role can feel uncomfortable for everyone involved. That's why holding boundaries isn't about controlling others but more it's about protecting our own well-being. The biggest takeaway from the conversation is that observing doesn't mean we stop caring. It means we trust others enough to let them walk their own path, make their own choices, and learn their own lessons. We can offer support without carrying the weight. We can care without absorbing. As one of us put it, "Who knew that protecting your peace would not be peaceful." Sometimes the most loving thing we can do both for ourselves and for others, it just to "stay in our lane." Great conversation everyone, thanks to all that joined! If YOU are interested in coming to the Fireside chat, we have them at 8am PST on Tuesdays. The topics are in the calendar. Hope to see everyone there!