THIS one helped me so much to have much more constructive conversations! Ever found yourself launching into fix-it mode when your spouse has talked to you about something - because the solution seems so obvious? Or perhaps you've AVOIDED even starting a conversation because your spouse has done that so many times, when it hasn't been what you were needing - that you just keep it to yourself? Tip #2 helps you BOTH. Instead of launching into a conversation, pre-frame it at the beginning by defining exactly what you are needing. "I want to talk something through with you. What I need is for you to just listen, because I want to process this out loud. This would really help me." Or try this: "I want to talk something through with you, and I want to hear your thoughts on a possible solution..." Whether you just need him to listen, or you need him to come up with solutions to something - naming what you need at the very beginning takes the pressure of him and gives him a clear, achievable role.

Resist the story spiral! The moment my husband would go into silent mode, my mind would instantly launch into all kinds of stories I would start telling myself. The first one would typically be "he doesn't love me anymore" followed by "I'm not enough for him" followed by "I've done something wrong...again..." You get the idea. But here's what I found (by practice - not just as a wife but also as a coach and someone now trained in helping others rewire their internal belief system): 🧠The mind listens! The human brain cannot distinguish between objective truth, and what you tell it. It works TIRELESSLY to make your internal dialogue your physical and emotional reality. That internal narrative pattern I used to have had less to do with my husband and more to do with my own belief system shaped by experiences from my past. We are already prone to telling ourselves negative things, and so a conscious reframe is telling ourselves a DIFFERENT and better story than the negative one. "I AM enough for him. Right now he's struggling to find words to talk through what's going on." "This is a temporary challenge, and I have the resilience to handle it." "I trust myself to handle whatever happens, and I let go of the rest." It takes practice because it doesn't come naturally. But like building a muscle - you get strong with it. So - here's a question for you. What's a repeating negative belief that you want to develop a 'conscious reframe' with? Let me know in the comments below and we can shape a present tense and powerful reframe!

Let's welcome our newest members to the group! @Leah Wells 🙋‍♀️ @Dee Mary 🥳 @Helen Ling 😁 @Priscilla Lowe 🤩 @Stuart Alcock 🤗 Great to have you here. If you haven't already done so yet, explore the classroom to find the current resources available. Find a post that resonates, pop in a comment to share your thoughts/views. Or jump into the pinned post [START HERE] Welcome to the group! and pop a response there in the poll.

Give your spouse a time frame that's reasonable — not reactive. If he needs space, honour it. But set a boundary around it. For me, two days was my max threshold. It made a huge diference when I would name it too. "I can see you need some space so I will give it to you. Two days is the maximum though.." Afterall - we had a household of 3 children and conversations needed to happen where managing their universe was concerned. If he was still in silence at that point, I would call it. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that a soft answer turns away wrath. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is lower the temperature in the room — not by shutting down ourselves in response (which I was prone to do at times out of retaliation) but by approaching it differently. What's worked for you in the past when it comes to either a boundary or a timeframe in a scenario like this?

Inside "The Bible in One Year" reading for Sunday the 21st of June 2026 - the first passage to read from the Old Testament came from the first two chapters of Job. To be honest with you - for a moment I flinched a little knowing that over the coming days I'd be going through this particular book. Not the easiest one to read through. But I had a flash-of-a-thought race across my mind, to look for the gold in the story. That's EXACTLY what happened. I found gold right away in the words, and I thought of you. The message that stood out to me was the value God places on maintaining our integrity DESPITE the circumstances that have happened, or are happening around us. Grieving for what was lost. Grieving for what no longer existed. Grieving for what seemingly would never be as it once was. I remember going through that when my husband became just a shell of himself. I felt guilty for grieving. "I shouldn't be grieving - he's not dead!" And yet - grief was there. Perhaps you've been wrestling with feeling grief, but at the same time confused too. Let the grief move through you rather than push it down. Then - just as Job did - worship God in the face of it. That is one way that Job maintained his integrity. He refused to blame God for all that had happened. The second thing Job did to maintain his integrity can be found in Chapter 2:10. "Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" Job's response to everything wasn't denial or numbness. He grieves fully. This isn't a man with no feelings. It's a man whose identity was never built on his circumstances in the first place. If your marriage is in a season where nothing is resolving the way you prayed it would; or If your marriage ended - without the things you prayed for being resolved; know that your integrity isn't to be measured by whether he/she changes (or changed). It's measured by whether you stay true to you. Becoming unshakeable doesn't mean nothing shakes you. It means you know exactly who you are and WHOSE you are when it does. I had to learn that the hard way in the middle of the shaking.