@Christine Daubert & @Seth Dahl my 12 yr old Amara still acts out her anger with kicking at something and whining, but is minimizing with breaking stuff. She still whines a lot and struggles to use her words to express herself. Her therapist has switched therapy to focus on my husband & I, to support Amara at home, since she seems to do well everywhere except at home. Our job is to consistently ask her, “I’m sorry I didn’t understand you, please use your words”, and communicate with her as though, developmentally, she still needs to be taught healthy ways to express herself, just like a 3-6 year old does. Yes, we’ve tried all kinds of distractions, breathing exercises, etc., and she will not do them, so, slowing our communication way down to something very simple like, “Sorry, I really want to understand you, calm down and try again” with only one of us talking to her at a time, bc when both of us respond simultaneously & tell her what to do, it’s very overwhelming.