Hi there! I've been a believer for a while. However, I've endured many health challenges along the way. I'm a two time Cancer survivor and know God is my rock. I moved last year and it's been a challenge to find a Christian church or place to call home. However, I've been dealing with another health challenge that is supposedly unoperable. I know God does miracles and I know he'll heal me as he's shown me. However, I'm getting to the point of exhaustion and lack of motivation. This new challenge has physically changed me and everything seems grey at times. I know I should have hope as my hope comes from God. I just feel a sense of constant grief. Grief of being who I used to be. While also feeling lack of motivation and feeling as though I'm always in a BATTLE. I'm tired of physical health battles. I'm also learning to fully love who I am in this moment. My emotions and mind just seem to be on over drive at times. I want to get back to disciplining the mind since it continously wants to bring me down. God's word sustains. I honestly haven't had the discipline to read or pray like I use too. The desire has dwindled. I feel like I've slowly retreated in my relationship with God. Last night, I attended an amazing women's Christian event. It was encouraging to spend my time in that way. However, I've realized I need to find a church home where prayer is the main focus. Sorry for the long rant. I'm happy to be a part of a community that feels a lot and is focused on making God #1 in their lives. I know a 3 day fast will get me back on track. I just hope I start and complete it.

Week 1 is almost in the books and I’m feeling thankful god put Gabe and subsequently god tap in my life. It’s been a few really rough months but this week I am back on path. Jesus tells us his yoke is easy and is burden is light. God as your servant let your light shine through me and shine through all going through this program right now. Let us commit to doing the work every single day for 24 more days and beyond. God is good! And go bucks ;)

Something to chew on… do you think the devil is easier to hear than God in the world we live in?

I’ve been struggling lately with motivation and just feeling kind of stuck. Some days I just can’t seem to get myself moving or out of this little funk. I’m trying to lean into my faith more instead of letting myself stay stuck in it. If anyone has a favorite verse, prayer, or even just some words of encouragement for seasons like this, I’d really appreciate it. 🤍

For the better part of 2 years I have been on an emotional rollercoaster all centered on what is happening workwise. It is hard to sleep, the anxiety, the depression, the never ending raceless mind that makes me a zombie around my family. My wife and oldest child try to talk to me and I don't even hear it. Enough is enough. I am ashamed of myself. This has been and continues to be rock bottom. Family and friends know bits and pieces of this, but my wife is really the only one who knows how bad its been and she is at her breaking point. Writing this down and going through these readings is medicine for me... accountability for me. As tears roll down my face all I can think about is my daughter who is 3 sharing this verse with me after I had a horrible day about a year ago. She goes to a Christ centered day care and learns songs and verses like this. Seeing I was upset and without prompting she said "daddy be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you Deuteronomy 31:6. A year ago I promised her I was okay... that all is okay. Its time to be the man God called me to be, the husband my wife deserves and the father my children deserve.