Just discovered Taylor on Substack. I’m at the tail end of a brutal and yet transformative cancer journey, now sitting with too many truths and a broken body and none of my old masculine energy powers can pull me up. In a swamp with my shadows, having no idea how to handle the collapse of my marriage and the invitation to reclaim my pleasure in a pain-ridden body. I know the anger/rage I have for my husbands selfishness and hedonism is an invitation to become more selfish and to learn to take pleasure too, rather than trying to prove to him how terrible his selfishness is, but I am so broken I just have to be broken right now. I bought an astrological chart reading of my shadow and it was incredible. But so hectic. I can see my “too much ness” has a face and an energy and the tile has come to learnt to love her. I have no idea how I’m going to get there… For now I am singing “this is me” daily to help me process and embody the grief and the power of my scars and my broken self. (Broken from age 4, cancer has just been helping piece her back together). I am tired of my rage against patriarchy, because the worst part of the patriarchy is the voice that lives in me, telling me how I should be. I am not sure what I want from joining this community, but I feel like I belong here.