Who am I becoming? Ask your self that question. Look in the mirror and ask yourself. Who am I becoming? Good question that was asked at the beginning of church today. I would love to see your self reflection feedback. I believe I am becoming a humble servant of the most high. God is truly at work in my life.

Compassion without order is chaos, order without compassion is brutality. Thoughts?

I’m going to put this out. Not to condone any actions I have done or look for attention or hope. but to be brutally honest about me and who I am and let all of you know even at the loneliest hardest times you are not alone in your walk or your struggles. I’m not going to go over all the “trauma” of my past just know there was a lot of it mostly sexual and throw three combat deployments as a flight medic in plus a few years as a fireman law enforcement officer and paramedic I think many would get the basic picture. I love my wife. We have been separated for some time now. I struggled with adultery. Significant adultery. I got back from Afghanistan and some thing happened I’m not sure what but I started cheating. That was in 2016. I didn’t stop. I tried to run only to find I was living in shame. I had broken my back in combat in Iraq and had to have rods placed in there. This caused pain. I choose alcohol over pills because I figured that was okay. I wanted to support my family and be a good man and not get caught in addictions. I could never let go of my shame though. It festered it grew. I kept cheating. Not as much but it continued. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s and hospitalized more then once. I got fired as a fireman for refusing the vaccine and then as a sheriff for adultery. I was lost broken and had nothing. My family and all the honor I thought I had went down the drain. I wanted to kill my last and almost did so. I ended up in inpateient treatment in Utah at Deer Hollow (amazing program) I got out and though I had a chance to repair my marriage and tried. I did well and had no issues but my wife wasn’t ready. We are now separated and she has asked for divorce. After she asked for a divorce i made the choice to sleep with another woman again. Foolish. After that I realized in my heart what I was doing and who I was. I had not been a good man. I had tried but my actions spoke otherwise. I drew a line. And i promised for id never cross that line again. I pray daily i see josh sometimes more then once a week. And I dedicated my time to celibacy and becoming a son of god.

Hello all!!!! Please check in and read through! We have some new members hopping in and would love to get that activity rolling!!!! Thank you all! Let's Get Better!! Check in and weigh in on all posts! Winner on the leaderboard gets a gift card on the Open Door Crew! You are also a blessing!!

So excited to see our group of men growing! Guys reach out and welcome them and make sure that we all start with introductions and let’s dive in to anchored52! It is in our classroom here on the platform! Love you all blessed to have you here!