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Breakups to Beasts
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5 contributions to Breakups to Beasts
Dec '25 •
When Letting Go Is Clear, but Looking Back Is Still Hard
When we broke up, I blocked her on social media, but today I felt a temptation to look back. I ended up checking her account on a friend’s phone, and I saw something that hurt: a photo of her in a new relationship she entered shortly after we ended. It reminded me that even when we know something no longer serves us, the pull to look back can still be strong. For me, it raised this question: how do you resist the temptation to look back at what God is clearly calling you to move on from? I’ve been thinking about Scripture, especially the story of Lot’s wife in Genesis; how looking back kept her tied to what she was meant to leave behind. I don’t see that story as condemnation, but as a warning about attachment to what God is asking us to release. I’d love to hear how others here deal with that tension; practically, spiritually, or through Scripture. What helps you keep moving forward when your heart wants to look back?
2 likes • Dec '25
@Sarenity Ramirez I totally feel that. Even though I blocked her, I still allowed myself to look at her socials, and when I did, it hurt a lot. I also understanding the urge to turn to God and still feeling low. To that point, a perspective that helps me, is that faith is not a feeling. Faith is an action, and action is hard. It’s not easy and nothing everything life throws at us is always easy, but God is always with us no matter how we feel. It’s what we doing during those low points where faith shines; and it’s a damn battle every single day, but God is pruning us for better. Even though this community is new, I’m here for you and every single other person in this community, I linked my insta in bio so for anyone who reads this, my messages are always open too. You got this my sister in Christ, God is preparing us for something better.
0 likes • Dec '25
@Jay Carvalho hundred percent, thank you for the reminder that things happen for a reason. The relationship likely would not have worked out in the long run too when I look back at it, as much as it hurts. As for your exes condemning your content, that reminded me of this verse: “Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.”” Mark 6:4, those who are close to or were once close to you are often the biggest critics, and even Jesus experienced that, everyone here believes in your content brother, don’t stop, it’s already have a huge impact on people.
Dec '25 •
How do i heal from a breakup
So i was dating this girl for 8 months and 5 days ago she left my life and i need to heal how do i forget about her im so done with this love stuff😔
1 like • Dec '25
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. 5 days is so fresh, so first I want to say this straight up: there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling like this. What you’re experiencing is grief. You don’t forget someone you cared about overnight, and trying to rush that process usually makes it worse. One thing I’ve been learning through my own breakup is that healing doesn’t start with forgetting, it starts with allowing yourself to feel without acting on every feeling. The urge to check their socials, replay memories, or blame yourself is normal, but it doesn’t help you heal. Creating distance, even when it hurts, is an act of self-respect. I also had to accept that love ending doesn’t mean it was fake or a waste. It means it served a purpose for a season. Sometimes the lesson isn’t about the other person, but about what God is shaping in us through the loss. Ecclesiastes says it’s better to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting, because sorrow has something to teach us. That verse hit me hard in this season. Right now, focus on the basics. Sleep. Eat. Move your body. Stay around people who don’t let you isolate. Don’t make big decisions while your emotions are loud. Healing isn’t linear, and there will be waves, but the waves do get smaller. You don’t need to give up on love. You just need time to heal so the next love isn’t built on unresolved pain. Take it one day at a time. You’re not behind, and you’re not broken. I’ll see you at the top my brother, you got this.
Dec '25 •
On Always being dumped
Hey guys. I have this thing were im always the one that gets left. I am quick to get attached but Iam slow to fall in love and maybe girls dont like that. How do people force themselves to “stop feeling”? I feel like the more time i spend with someone the more i like them but for my partners is always the opposite. This girl im broken up by now told me she loved me so much she had to force herself to not need me anymore because when we were together i had depression for a while and she got hurt by negligence on my part. But still, i feel like if you love someone feelings dont go away like that. at least I cant. Is there something wrong with me? Is it lack of maturity? Or is it a case of “if 2 people are dating to marry then the first one to make a mistake is fucked”scenario? I feel like everytime i make a mistake i just cant recover from it.
1 like • Dec '25
Hey man, I really resonate with a lot of what you shared. I don’t think there’s something “wrong” with you for feeling deeply. I actually think the ability to feel and attach says more about your capacity to love than a lack of maturity. One thing I’ve been learning this season is that feelings aren’t something we’re meant to shut off or force away. Trying to “stop feeling” usually just means suppressing pain, not healing it. What has helped me is learning the difference between attachment and love. Attachment says “I need you to feel whole,” while love says “I choose you, but I’m rooted even without you.” That distinction was huge for me and something I’m still struggling and working on personally. I also don’t think love disappears overnight. People can choose distance, coping mechanisms, or self-protection, but that doesn’t mean the feelings never existed. Sometimes people don’t leave because love is gone, but because staying hurts more than leaving. That doesn’t make you unlovable. For me, this season has forced me to look inward and ask what I was leaning on in relationships to fill things only God could. When I started working on my own emotional health, discipline, and faith, I realized that mistakes don’t disqualify us. They reveal areas God wants to grow us in. Growth isn’t linear, and relationships aren’t either. Ecclesiastes talks about the house of mourning being a place of wisdom. Pain, as brutal as it is, has been a teacher for me. Not to harden my heart, but to strengthen my foundation so I don’t lose myself in someone else again. You’re not weak for feeling. You’re human. Healing doesn’t mean becoming numb, it means becoming whole. Keep going.
Dec '25 •
Live Stream Recap
We discussed surrendering your life to God and allowing Him to take control and pave the path for you. We talked about the importance of not falling into isolation or allowing destructive thoughts to tear you apart. We also discussed learning how to cope in healthy ways, without turning to distractions. Thank you to everyone who joined the first live and had the courage to open up and share your experiences. I hope to make this a weekly space where people can come together, listen, and learn from one another’s stories. Considering this was my first live stream, I think it went really well. I will be planning another live stream soon for next week. It will either be on here or Instagram/TikTok. I will keep you guys updated. I will be posting new discussions every week for you guys to interact. I want to see you commenting and sharing your stories and helping your fellow brothers and sisters. Have a good week and stay blessed. 💪🏽 Homework: Comment under this post with a major lesson you’ve learned in your life, and take the time to respond to someone else’s comment.
1 like • Dec '25
@Sarenity Ramirez I actually had this exact conversation with my mentor from church a couple weeks ago. We talked about how much tension comes from placing ourselves at the center of our lives, constantly asking “How does this benefit me?” or “What can I gain from this person or situation?” What I have been learning is that when that posture shifts, when the question becomes “How does this serve God?” or “How does this align with who He is shaping me to be?”, there is a lot more peace. Ironically, many of the things we chase for ourselves begin to fall into place when they are no longer the focus. This verse has been grounding for me lately: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 I am realizing that putting God at the center does not mean suppressing desire. It means trusting Him with it.
1 like • Dec '25
I wasn’t able to make the live last night, but this message really resonated with me. Surrendering control to God has been one of the hardest but most freeing lessons in my life. I’ve learned that isolation and unchecked thoughts only deepen pain, while staying connected to people and turning to God instead of distractions brings clarity and peace. This season has reminded me of Ecclesiastes 7:2, where it says it is better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of feasting, because it forces us to reflect and grow. I am grateful for spaces like this where people can be honest, sit with difficult things, and learn from one another instead of running from them. Looking forward to joining the next one and growing alongside everyone here.
Dec '25 •
Welcome to The Sanctum Haven: Founder’s Story + Introduce Yourself
Hello, My name is Jay Carvalho. I am the founder of The Sanctum Haven and Sanctum Journals. My journey began in 2021 during one of the darkest periods of my life. I struggled with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and difficult relationships. I needed an escape from the pain and a way to become a better version of myself, a path to navigate these struggles, and a way to find hope in the midst of despair. Over the past few years, I’ve built routines and habits—meditation, journaling, cold showers, reading, learning new skills, and working out—that have helped me get through my struggles and gain clarity, discipline, and resilience. I started working out about seven years ago when I was bullied, ridiculed, and insecure, skinny, and deeply depressed as a 14- or 15-year-old. Exercise became more than just physical training—it became a tool for mental strength, confidence, and discipline. These practices allowed me to heal, make major life decisions, seek forgiveness, grow spiritually, build businesses, and develop into a more grounded, well-rounded man. Each habit, each daily practice, became a stepping stone toward becoming the person I wanted to be. Five months ago, I went through the worst heartbreak I have ever experienced in my life. That heartbreak eventually led me to accept Christ, which radically changed how I see morals, values, and purpose. After growing up atheist my whole life, embracing Jesus brought a profound clarity, deep peace, and a renewed sense of purpose. That's why I started content creation. It gave me a strong desire to help others who face similar struggles and a framework for living a life grounded in faith, integrity, and growth. I know what it’s like to feel lost, broken, and hopeless. I know what it feels like to question whether you will ever find peace or happiness again. That’s why I created The Sanctum Haven. This is a safe space to heal, strengthen your faith, build discipline, and grow into the best version of yourself. This isn’t just a community. It's a MOVEMENT:
2 likes • Dec '25
1. Who are you? Jet Lau. 2. What brought you here? Heartbreak and the need for real healing. I’ve learned the importance of surrounding myself with like-minded people who are intentional about growth, and this community seems to be built around that. 3. What struggles are you working through? Right now, my biggest struggles are resisting temptation, building and maintaining discipline, breaking old patterns that damaged past relationships, and learning how to apply growth and faith practically in everyday life. 4. What do you hope to gain or learn in this community? I hope to learn from others who are walking through heartbreak and personal growth, and also to give back where I can; especially to those struggling spiritually, relationally, or emotionally. My goal is mutual growth, not just personal healing. “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
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