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8 contributions to Instagram For R*tards
Grading Homework (Post Olympia)
All community feed posts answered here (9/24-9/27) @Greg Alfonso @Ethan Cornfield @Ethan Richards @Ryan Holland @Byron Thomas @Mario Argiriu
0 likes • 11h
Love the feedback. I don’t know if you can make the audio audible on the playback, but I think it would it help a lil. I can’t hear any of the reels you replay for class
Day 3 Homework
https://www.instagram.com/p/DMqwVTWB05I/ Solid thumbnail and I am always curious to know what other bartenders get pissed off about. In the first couple of seconds he drops basically how to not be Retarded at a bar. Which will draw in people who don't want to embarass themselves. Satisfies my ADHD but opening with a pan out and moving two separate cocktails away from the camera while panning to is face and hitting you directly with the purpose of the video, with random goofy cutaways. https://www.instagram.com/p/DVzZFgmDaVM/ I like this hook because I am genuinely curious to see what his advice is, and I'm judging the shit out of his shaking technique. I don't know how I feel about the click bait and being forced to read generic (or what I see as generic) things I don't enjoy, but I did click the post and read it. The visual hook was just text, but it got me engaged enough to read his very basic synopsis and see that it grabbed a ton of people to comment. https://www.instagram.com/p/Da269j6NR68/ Without sound, it's nothing, but with volume up it's instantly grabbing. You realize a song is playing, and you want to stay around to see where it goes. by two seconds in you are trying to figure out the song and see if you're right. Outside of the hook, there isn't much to keep you around though, but its fun, and would be an easy idea to imitate https://www.instagram.com/p/Dbl1G9Zyro6/ I like this because it's an impressive movement, everyone stops and stares at calisthenics beasts, but by the time he's dropped from his first rep, you are locked in as it instantly gets funny with changing backgrounds and wild places, and hooks you to see what the next scenarios are going to be. I definitely can't rep out muscle ups like this, but I can see how using the same format could be gold for shaking a cocktail, talking to guests, cutting someone off etc.
Day 2 Homework
I'm a bit of a hoarder. Not like I have stacks of newspapers or old magazines, but I tend to keep things that have minimal value to me, because they might to someone else. Random shit like signed guitars, or toys, but I don't really want them, and I procrastinate so much that they just end up in a corner or overtaking my store room. Also used to grow weed for a long time back in Seattle, but moved to Texas where I'd prefer to stay not a felon, so that went out the window. I miss it a ton though, and often think of relocating somewhere where I can do it again. Also don't smoke weed in Texas. Off chance of being drug tested, because I've spent so much time hating being a bartender at 42. I have a couple of DUI's under my belt 2 over several years, but am currently still dealing with a Blow-n-go in my car. I actually quit drinking before I had it, and was considering quitting drinking, even talked about it at length with some friends the night I got my DUI. Mostly everyone I know said and says that I don't need to quit, that I don't have a problem, (which I don't have a compulsion to drink at all, I just did it out of boredom) and I've lost friends because I don't go out. Kind of depressing, which is what got me going to the gym. I know go at least 5 days a week, really with little knowledge, but have made significant gains in my fitness and found it to be a healthy outlet where I can quiet my mind and just feel like i'm accomplishing something. 1. Who should your Reels primarily speak to? C. Strangers who don’t know you yet 2. What’s the main purpose of a Post? A. Build trust and provide value to current followers 3. What type of tone should your Stories have? B. Casual, personal, and unfiltered 4. Which question is NOT part of the “Think Critically Before Posting” checklist? C. What trending sound should I use? 5. What’s the correct relationship between platform features and goals? B. Reels build reach → Posts build trust → Stories build relationships
Day 2 Homework
Day 1 Homework re-do
basically got blown up on the video about my first attempt. Here's a little more effort. 5 Struggles - Drove my truck into a pond.  I spent a ton of time and money getting together friends for an end of summer lake day.  I thought I was just supposed to show up to hang out with friends, since it was mostly funded by myself and another friend.  We rented jet ski’s set up a ton of food to BBQ and had the place set.  The day and morning before my other friend was supposed to help prep food all morning, and supply his truck to transport everything to the lake spot… he bailed 12 hours before… my buddy was freaking out, didn’t even know I owned a truck cause I always drove my POS prius.  So I swooped in to help and make sure things still went off without a hitch.  Ended up not sleeping the night before and showing up at 6am to prep food.  Great lake day, wasn’t even really trying to drink.  Had a few twisted teas, BBQd and paddleboarded all day. When the sun was going down, we started packing up… I was super tired, I had nothing really to take back since multiple people showed up, and they were going to continue to party at a friend’s house.  So I just got my stuff, and was heading home to sleep, it was maybe 9pm.. About half a mile away from the lake, I fell asleep at the wheel, and drove my truck into a pond about 25 miles an hour.  I woke up, as soon as my truck hit the curb, but not in time to be able to stop from going into the pond… people saw, police were called, truck was running, flooded the engine, destroying the single most expensive thing I owned, and a girl saw it called 911, which ended up sending me jail for the night taking my license, and completely destroying a truck that I didn’t have full coverage on, because It usually just lived in covered parking at my condo…  - The most broke I’ve ever been.  After being convicted of a DUI, (luckily dropping the illegal posession of a firearm charge… its texas… we all have guns in the truck)  I figured I had over a year of time to prepare for court and sentencing.  I hired a lawyer who was basically a dirt bag, he rushed my case, and had me under contract to pay him before the case settled.  He set a court date and basically forced me to plead guilty.  Between everything and paying fines, and fees taking ubers for months because my license was suspended. It wiped out my finances, to the point where I had to end up borrowing 11k from my mom over a couple of months to pay rent bills and fines.  I couldn’t find a job because I had an upcoming potentially unknown length of jail sentence, and nobody wanted to bring me on for a month and then lose me for a minimum of a month (sentence potential minimum for 2nd DUI)   - Depression and Disease.  A few years back, I was trying to get in shape, and making progress, when i started developing sores in my mouth, went to several dentists, and they said I had poor oral hygiene… which I did/do not… it got to the point where I couldn’t eat a potato chip without spitting out copious amounts of blood… then started getting blisters on my skin, my face, my back my chest.  The blisters would pop and not heal. They would turn into fragile scabs that would bleed at the slightest touch.  So if someone patted me on the back, if I rolled over in my sleep, anything would cause them to bleed.  I would wake up looking like a crime scene daily.  Got to the point I was sleeping on towels and still bleeding through them and into my sheets and mattress protector.  To go to work I would bandage myself like a mummy and put two shirts on and avoid people touching me… but I’m a bartender… a friendly one in a busy bar people would often just come up and pat me on the back to say hi, and I would immediately know I was bleeding through my bandages.  I was going to different dermatologists and NOBODY could tell me what I had, and everyone kept asking if I had been tested for aids.  I yelled at one of my doctors even saying “YES!!! YOU TESTED ME!!!”  it sent me on a pretty dark spiral of thinking I was going to die.  I was losing weight rapidly, on a HEAVY dose of Prednisone to only kind of help the problem, and for almost 9 months ate nothing but soup and sometimes yogurt if the acidity wouldn’t burn my mouth… even eating slightly spicy stuff would cause my mouth to blister… so I was essentially living off of 1 to 2 cans of campbells chunky creamy chicken noodle soup a day, and melting cheese into it just to get enough calories to try to stop losing weight.  I was unhealthy skinny and losing mass everywhere. - Diagnosis… I was finally diagnosed by the very first doctor I had seen.  She had to biopsy an unbroken blister to prove a theory of a literal 1 in a million disease that I might have, and she had never actually seen, and they don’t test for because its so rare… despite going to her first, it took them almost a year to decide to run the test they could have run on my first visit.  When diagnosed, I was told that I should not “google” my own disease, because the information on it was not up to date, and might be scary if I looked into it… Immediately went home and googled it.  Seeing that the average lifespan of someone diagnosed was about 10 years and average cause of death was malnutrition because its difficult to eat with you throat and mouth bleeding from superfucial touch… I was informed of a new treatment that showed promise, but I would need weekly chemo treatments, and the cost of my particular treatment was $60,000+ per treatement and I would need to be doing it weekly for an extended period of time… since my disease was so rare and the treatement so new, my insurance denied it even after having doctors write my insurance company saying this is what I need to save my life. - I dated a girl for 4 years, who moved in without asking, moved her shit into my place, and basically lived off me for years.  I even moved out, and got a bigger place, and told her if she wanted to live with me that she had to pay half the rent.  We continued to stay together, while she posted thirst trap insta shit, told her friends we were getting married, and basically turned into my pretty hot but asexual roommate.  Intimacy was pulling teeth, but she was crazy jealous of EVERYTHING.  We were both bartenders… I wore a polo, she wore bikini’s or would hang her tits out (that I paid for… sucker that I am)  constantly accused me of cheating, would go through my phone, and we finally broke up.  She accused me of cheating with a girl who does OF who was our mutual friend, accused me of fucking multiple of her coworkers, and when proved not true, I’d get hit with, “well i know you want to”.  We broke up after she went through my phone again.  Admittedly I had voiced frustration to female friend who was very flirty, she said we should break up and was expecting a fight.  I just said OK, and asked her when she was moving out because nothing was in her name.  2 days later she was out of my house, had a new roommate, new man, and was in a relationship before the end of the month… then went to my hang outs and would tell anyone that was listening that I was cheating with girls I met on OF, all of which wasn’t true, and fucked up some relationships cause some girls always side with girls… (like that hormone chick who murdered her kids)
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I am Back Baby (Watch if you are new)
How to become the Ultimate Content Machine Talked about @Ryan Holland @Zee Diaboli @Jason Marston @Arizona Akin @John Gigante
I am Back Baby (Watch if you are new)
2 likes • 16d
Welp... Re-doing my Day 1 homework in the morning.
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Jason Marston
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@jason-marston-9857
New R3tard

Active 10h ago
Joined Sep 10, 2026
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